Cheating and infidelity can destroy a relationship, but does that always have to happen? Unfortunately, I’ve had a lot of painful conversations with people about cheating: both those who have cheated and those whose partners have been unfaithful.

After Cheating

As far as whether you can save your relationship after cheating, there’s a lot to consider. There’s not a one-size-fits-all approach, and how well reconciliation works depends on several factors.

What Happened?

Infidelity can encompass a range of behaviors, depending on what boundaries you set in your relationship. All cheating is traumatic and painful, but it may seem more possible if what happened between you is something you both agree is not worth ending the relationship over.

For example, you may think you can reconcile if one of you exchanged texts with someone else. But you or your partner might not feel like it’s possible to get back together after more explicitly physical or sexual infidelity.

How to work through this difficult time is unique to you, your partner, and your situation. But it’s important to remember that while reconciliation is sometimes possible, it is not the best choice for everyone.

Were You Safe with Your Partner?

One circumstance was getting back together is especially high risk is if your relationship became abusive leading up to or after the infidelity. Abusive relationships are, by nature, unsafe and unhealthy. Going back into that environment will only increase your risks of pain and heartbreak.

While recovery from abusive behavior is possible, it often takes years (or even decades) of in-depth work on the part of the abuser. Plus, it is very difficult to commit to your own healing and recovery after cheating if you are always wondering whether the abusive behavior will repeat itself.

How Long Has It Been?

Time is essential if you are trying to work to mend a broken heart (and a damaged relationship) after cheating. Because breaking up is lonely, it’s tempting to get back together after the first apology is offered. After all, this is someone you’ve cared about for a long time, and that doesn’t go away overnight. But it will likely take a good deal of time for you both to clear your head, face your pain, and learn for yourselves if it is truly possible, and if it’s wise, to get back together.

If you feel like your loneliness is pushing you to talk to your partner before you feel ready to do so, don’t forget how much God loves you. Reach out to him in prayer when you are struggling and talk to people you trust to help you feel less isolated who remind you of God’s love. Give yourself all the time you need to avoid making spur-of-the-moment decisions that will just cause you additional pain.

Have You sought Advice?

Even if you and your partner agree that repairing a relationship is possible after cheating, it’s important to get an outside perspective. You need to talk things through with someone who won’t take sides and will help each of you come to terms with the reality of rebuilding a relationship after infidelity. It will be a painful, challenging journey, if you commit to it, you will need a lot of support.

If you’re not sure where to start, you are in a safe place. TheHopeLine offers mentoring and support to people whose relationship has been impacted by cheating. Talk to a HopeCoach today about how to heal after infidelity. We are here for you.

Get Help Right Away: If you need immediate help after assault, call 911. If you or someone you know is being abused or neglected, you can call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at (800) 422-4453. Push 1 to speak to a counselor.

Assault is one of the most painful and scary things you can go through. It’s so overwhelming that knowing what to do if you’ve been assaulted can be difficult in the midst of the devastation and confusion you may feel.

Facing the Truth: What is Assault?

If you’re in a relationship with someone who is hurting you, they may try to make you feel like what’s happened is no big deal or that it’s all in your head. Being honest with yourself about what’s happened starts with having a clear understanding of what assault is:

Assault is deliberate. The person who assaulted you hurt you on purpose, with the intent of making you feel fear or pain. Assault is a type of physical abuse and is often a pattern in toxic relationships.

• Assault is unwanted. If someone touched you in a way that you did not want or consent to, it is considered assault.
• Assault is used to control you. If you feel like someone is forcing you to do anything through physical intimidation, or that they are forcing you to have sex or perform sexual acts, you are experiencing assault.

It is a sign of great courage that you are looking to take action after assault. Here are some steps you should take right away for greater safety.

Reporting Assault

Reporting assault can help protect you from future assault. You should file reports with:

• Law Enforcement: Calling the police or visiting your local police station to speak with an officer in person can alert them to the fact that the person who assaulted you is a threat to your safety.
• Doctors/Hospitals: Receiving medical attention after assault is important because it documents your assault and ensures your physical needs are taken care of.
• Leadership or Supervisors: If your assault took place at work, school or church, let the leadership of that organization know what is going on as soon as possible so they can help you feel safer in that environment and put as much distance as possible between you and your abuser.

Finding Support After Assault

The right support makes all the difference when reporting assault and recovering after assault.

Assault causes a great deal of pain, and there are many healthy ways to ease that pain and work toward healing. You can reach out to:

• Therapists/Counselors: Counselors and therapists are specially trained in techniques that can help you heal from trauma and manage the difficult emotions that come with abuse. If you are still in an abusive relationship, they can help you make a plan to leave that prioritizes your safety and well-being.
• Support Groups for Assault Victims: You are not the only one dealing with this pain and you are not alone. There are support groups for victims of assault where you can find a sense of community with others who are in your corner.
• Faith Community Leaders or Prayer Groups: Often a pastor or spiritual leader can be a great comfort if you’ve been in an abusive relationship. They can remind you of God’s unconditional love and pray for you when you are struggling to heal from the pain of an assault.
• Mentors and Coaches: Mentors and coaches can be a great resource during the day-to-day struggles that come with recovering after an assault. They can make sure you have the help you need and can offer encouragement on the tougher days.

TheHopeLine is here to help if you’re not sure what steps to take first. Talk to a HopeCoach now to get help and find healing after assault. We are here for you, and we will get through this together.

If you've been sexually assaulted contact our partners at RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) for help. 

Eating disorders are a group of mental illnesses that can have very serious consequences on physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health. If you have a friend who might have an eating disorder, it can feel scary to watch them struggle.

But you are not powerless.

Learning more about what your friend might be facing, along with practical things you can do to make them feel safe and supported, can go a long way toward encouraging them to get an accurate diagnosis and begin their recovery journey.

Does Your Friend Show Signs of an Eating Disorder?

While each person’s experience with their eating disorder is unique to their situation, there are common warning signs to look for, such as:

• Extreme overeating, undereating, or cycling back and forth between the two
• Harsh, critical, or cruel statements about their body, weight, and appearance
• Avoiding eating or eating very little at meals
• Excusing themselves to the bathroom very frequently after meals, often immediately after finishing a meal
• Never being satisfied with their size, shape, or weight
• Exercising or exerting themselves physically to excess or exhaustion, in an attempt to lose more weight

If you’ve noticed your friend struggling with their relationship with food, their opinion of themselves, or if they seem obsessed with their weight, they may have an eating disorder.

Can You Help Your Friend?

You can help a friend with an eating disorder, but it is important to do so in a way that doesn’t shame them, pressure them, or further enable their behavior.

Here are some suggestions for what to do if you think your friend has anorexia, bulimia, or another eating disorder:

1. Plan the conversation, but don’t stage an intervention. This talk should have the feel of any other conversation between dear friends, so they don’t feel distant, attacked, or judged.

2. Share your concerns: It is important to share your concerns with your friend. Let them know you want them to be happy and healthy, and that you’re worried about the serious consequences of their relationship with food, and their unkindness toward themselves.

3. Let them know there is help available. There are plenty of judgment-free places to get help recovering from eating disorders. Share this information with your friend and let them know they have your support in their treatment and recovery.

4. Remind them of God’s unconditional love: People with eating disorders often struggle with shame and feeling unloved. Sharing spiritual encouragement with your friend can be a great way to uplift their spirits and bond with them over a shared sense of hope.

5. Remain kind: Your friend’s eating disorder is a part of what they’re battling with, but they’re still the person you care about. Remain connected to what you’re grateful for, and what you enjoy doing with them, and make sure you maintain that sense of friendship with them.

This is a great start toward helping your friend as they come to terms with their eating disorder and begin to recover from it.

Do You Have the Support You Need?

It’s important to remember that eating disorder recovery takes time, and it is a draining process for the person in recovery, and their loved ones. It can be easy to become focused only on your friend’s battles. But be careful to take time to recharge, to focus on things that bring you joy, and to find the healing that you’ll need along the way. That may mean confiding in friends and family, reaching out to your faith community, or getting extra support from a counselor or mentor.

If you want to help a friend with an eating disorder, TheHopeLine team is here to give you the support you need.

Talk to a HopeCoach today about your life, your friend, and how you can care for them while not neglecting your own needs. We’re here for you, and we believe things will get better.

If you’re dealing with addiction or relapse, it can be tempting to self-medicate. But true self-care is the only way to heal your mind, body, and spirit. Find out more here. 

For eating disorder help and information for women, men and teens visit our partners at Mirror Mirror.

It's Important to Feel Connected

Whether you are isolated due to illness, separated from the people you care about due to a move for work or school, or protecting yourself and others through social distancing, time apart is hard to get through.

Isolation can negatively impact your mental health in a number of ways. But being aware of that is a great first step to getting the help and support you need to feel more connected in your friendships and relationships. Here are some of the ways I’ve seen isolation affect mental health, and what I’ve noticed brings some healing.

Depression

It’s natural to feel down when you have to spend time away from people you care about. But the longer that time stretches on, the more likely it is to go from a tough time or a bad week to depression. How do you know? If your feelings of sadness are so overwhelming that it’s hard for you to get out of bed, to take care of yourself, or to fulfill your responsibilities, you may be living with untreated depression.

Depression can also play a role in the loss of interest in things you once loved to do. It’s important to talk to someone if you think you’re living with depression, since leaving it untreated could make the feelings of loneliness that come with isolation worse.

Anxiety

Spending a bit of time each day “alone with our thoughts” can be good. It can help us think about things in a new way and can give us a sense of clarity about life. But if I spend too much time in isolation, those thoughts can turn anxious. Anxiety often happens as a result of isolation because we feel like we can do nothing but worry. If the people we’re separated from are struggling or sad, we become more anxious about not being able to help them.

But don’t forget you can help them by reaching out, offering encouragement, and listening. And, when you talk about your anxiety with a counselor or mentor who can help you work through it, you’re freer to be a help and support from afar to your friends and loved ones.

Fear and Uncertainty

Fear and uncertainty often come with isolation if we don’t know how long the cause of our isolation will last. On top of that, we might be worried that our isolation will go on indefinitely, and that our struggles with fear, uncertainty, and other tough emotions will get much worse.

When it feels like those feelings are starting to take control, I find it helpful to check in with others. Helping others and offering a listening ear is one of the ways we can “get out of our own heads” for a while. It gives us perspective and helps us feel surer that we are loved and valued.

Giving into False Beliefs

Sometimes we are prone to feeling bad about ourselves when we spend all our time alone. We can start to believe false things about ourselves; that no one cares that we don’t matter, that things will never change, and so on. In those moments, remembering what we are grateful for can bring us back to the truths about our lives and ourselves that are kinder and more caring. It can also remind us how much God loves us, and that because of that love, we are never truly alone, even when we have to spend time apart.

Not Seeking Help

The loneliness you may be experiencing in your isolation could make you feel like you’re the only one in your situation and going through your particular pain. While everyone’s pain is unique, no one has to go through their struggles alone. You don’t have to let the tough feelings that come with isolation keep you from getting help.
And you can start here. TheHopeLine offers mentoring to guide you through the ups and downs of mental health challenges.  Talk to a Hope Coach today and start the journey toward feeling more connected to the people and things that matter to you.

Knowing how to feel better can be hard during a tough time, but it can help to practice gratitude. Find out how here.

When Relationship Issues Persist

I know it can be hard to navigate dating and relationships. Life is challenging, and relationship issues can seem to persist, even if you are with different people over the years. If breaking up is a pattern in your dating relationships, it’s natural to wonder why you can’t make relationships last.

But it’s important not to beat yourself up as you think things over. There can be any number of things influencing how your relationships turn out. The important thing is to be willing to learn about yourself, and to work towards a sense of healing and wholeness that will help you grow, whether on your own or in a dating relationship.

Looking for Patterns

If you’ve dealt with multiple breakups and are trying to understand why, it’s often helpful to look for patterns. Think back on your past relationships:

• How you met
• When you started noticing problems
• What arguments were about
• How disagreements were handled

Do you notice any common threads? There may be unhealthy patterns when it comes to how you view relationships, your communication style, or your anger management that may be impacting how smooth or rocky your relationships are over time.

Committing to Finding Common Ground

It’s fun getting to know someone you’re interested in dating. You can experience a strong sense of connection early on that makes you feel like the relationship will last a long time. But when problems hit, it turns out the relationship is not as stable as you thought.

I understand that frustration. This may be happening because, in spite of the attraction between you, you have different priorities, or a different way of seeing the world. Maybe you believe in God, and some of your partners haven’t, or vice versa.

True compatibility is more than chemistry, it’s having enough common ground to be able to set similar priorities and make decisions as a unit, so conflict is less likely when challenges arise. You don’t need to have everything in common or have identical beliefs. But you should have a sense of how one another makes decisions, and what you will prioritize in the relationship.

Facing Pain and Healing

Sometimes breakups happen even when there is high compatibility and thoughtful attention to the relationship. While we don’t always know right away why this happens, I’ve noticed that many people get into relationships too soon after a very painful situation (like trauma, abuse, or grieving). If we get into relationships without first working to understand and heal the pain in our lives, it’s likely that more of our pain will be brought into our new relationships.

If you need help or emotional support after a recent breakup, you’re in a good place to feel heard and valued. Talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine to explore some possible root causes of relationship issues. You can also explore our many resources on relationships, including blogs, ebooks, and podcasts with dating advice. We are here for you, and we have high hopes your future relationships will only get stronger.

Are you having trouble forgiving someone that hurt you in a relationship? Here a few things to help you understand the forgiveness process.

Breakups are Messy

Getting over a breakup: it’s never easy. But it’s even harder when it’s a bad breakup with a lot of messy emotions. I’m sorry you’re dealing with something so painful, especially during an already difficult time.

I hope that I can offer you some encouraging steps you can take in an effort to get past the hardest part of your breakup and move forward toward a greater sense of peace.

How to Get Over a Breakup

1. Be Kind to Yourself

If your breakup was full of conflict and arguments, chances are you are feeling especially wounded. I want to stress the importance of being kind to yourself as you process the comments, events, and actions of your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Try not to spiral into guilt, shame, or rage toward yourself. Treat yourself with the same care that you would a friend or family member going through a similarly painful experience.

2. Allow Time to Rest

Dealing with the aftermath of a failed dating relationship is physically and mentally exhausting. Let yourself rest. Take time to make sure you are taking other important steps toward healthy self-care. Eat meals regularly that both comfort and nourish you. Stay hydrated. And try to move in ways that you enjoy. Activities like exercise, walking, hiking, or riding your bike could offer a nice release, as well as a healthy distraction from the tough feelings you’re facing.

3. Focus on Others

One of the most important things I’ve learned about getting through a tough time is this: focusing on others helps me get out of my own head. Remembering that people close to you are also experiencing lives full of ups and downs may be a good way for you to feel less isolated in your pain, and more hopeful that you can get through this time. It’s also encouraging to people who care about you to know that you are thinking of them, too. Those bonds of family and friendship are going to be crucial to getting through a tough breakup in a healthy way.

4. Remember Your Spirit

Your spiritual wellbeing is always a priority, but especially when you’re grieving the end of a romantic relationship. Be sure you are taking time to spiritually recharge in whatever way you can. Prayer (or asking others to pray for you), or reading uplifting verses, can be great reminders that God loves you unconditionally. No matter how hard it’s gotten, He has never abandoned you.

5. Get Help When You Need It

Even when you’re doing everything you can to cope in a healthy way, you’re going to have overwhelming days, weeks, and seasons of life. I know that’s hard. But there is support available, and there is always hope. TheHopeLine offers mentoring to help people through difficult life issues, including breakups.

Talk to a HopeCoach today about your breakup. We’ll work with you to make a plan for greater peace of mind, healthy coping, and a hopeful future. You can get through this, and we are here to help.

You Can Turn Your Self-Hatred Around

If you struggle with hating yourself, you are not alone. Whatever the reason, whether past abuse, trauma, or bullying, I know it’s not easy to break that cycle. It takes a commitment to healthy self-care to turn things around.

Working on self-care to improve self-esteem will look slightly different for everyone, depending on their struggles and their situations. But there are some things I’ve noticed work well across the board. I hope to give you some straightforward ideas you can put into practice right away to start feeling better about your life and yourself.

1. Talk and Think About Yourself Positively 

Self-hatred and self-care: in both cases, “self” is a keyword. That’s because, in both, we play a part. Of course, you’re not responsible for the unkind treatment of others that may have led to your poor sense of self-worth. But you can still make an effort to talk and think about yourself positively each day.

If this feels difficult, think of your friends. You speak to them kindly and make efforts to treat them with respect. Try making that same effort to think and talk about yourself as you would talk about a friend or loved one.

2. Care for Your Spirit

Spiritual care is an important part of self-care because it keeps us grounded. Whether it's reading encouraging Bible verses, talking to someone in your faith community regularly, or spending time in prayer and meditation, committing to our spiritual care can bring us daily reminders of God’s unconditional love.

3. Care for Your Body 

Caring for your body through things like physical activity, cooking nutritious meals, or drinking more water has numerous benefits. It makes you feel better physically. It gives you more energy and better-quality sleep. And the sense of accomplishment that comes with activities like cooking and exercise programs can be a great self-esteem booster. If you’re not sure which meals or exercises would be best for you, your doctor can give you some ideas.

4. Clear Your Mind

Often, I find that cutting out distractions and clearing my mind helps me to calm my anxiety and face my negative thoughts and feelings. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, removing distractions is a great way to put your well-being first and focus on building your self-esteem. This could mean silencing your apps and notifications, spending less time on social media, or journaling instead of watching TV. Try doing at least one of those things for a week and see what a difference it makes.

5. Care for Others

Helping and uplifting others is fulfilling, and it always makes me feel better to know what a difference I can make for people in my family, my friend groups, and my community. Is there someone in your life that can use a kind word, or an organization you care about that needs your help? Think of something you can do to care for others and notice how that softens your feelings toward yourself.

6. Get Extra Encouragement

You may need extra encouragement and guidance from others to break the cycle of self-hatred and move toward self-care. Let people in your life know about your self-care routines so they can check in and see how things are going. See if a friend wants to join in a self-care activity with you so you can share your experiences together. 

If you’re still struggling and feeling overwhelmed, there’s hope. TheHopeLine HopeCoaches are here for you. 

Talk to a Hope Coach today about your struggles with hating yourself, and work with them to build a simple self-care routine you can stick to. You can do this. We believe in you!

Are you struggling to forgive yourself for past guilt and shame? Could this be causing your self-hate? Read why you should forgive yourself. 

If you struggle with substance abuse, or simply find that you’re more dependent on alcohol than you want to be, it can be a frustrating journey to growth and recovery. It seems like every social media post and every ad for food and drink features drinking at its center, surrounded by people appearing to have a good time.

But I want to encourage you to remember two things. One: these images are manufactured to sell products or experiences. Reality is a lot bigger. Two: You’re not alone in this struggle, and you don’t have to be. There are a lot of ways to have fun and build friendships with people close to you, without drinking, and without putting your recovery at risk. Here are some alternative good times you can have:

1. Restaurants That Don’t Serve Alcohol

There are lots of places to eat or drink that don’t feature alcohol, and many places don’t even serve it. Finding a coffee shop, tea shop, smoothie bar, juice bar, or kombucha bar is a good start. It’s a fun way to try new things. And many places that don’t serve alcohol have plenty of alternatives that actually make you feel better and promote improved health.

2. Museums

Your city likely has a lot of galleries and museums where you can explore local art and history. These give you an opportunity to pass the time, learn something new, and broaden your horizons, without anything revolving around drinking.

3. Sober Spaces

As more and more people take ownership of their recovery, and recognize the health benefits of eliminating alcohol, there are more sober restaurants and venues. Try researching “sober space” near you and see what comes up.

If you’re part of a faith community, this can be a great space to strengthen your resolve, remind you of God’s love, and connect with people who want to spend quality time with you in safe, sober spaces.

4. Meet Up Groups

You can search for a sober meet-up group using a site like Meetup. Groups meet around a common interest, activity, or stage of life. If you are in a recovery group, or have friends helping you look for sober spaces, invite them to come with you to a Meetup group so you can feel more comfortable and share the experience with someone.

5. Exercise

Exercise and physical activity are great outlets and healthy distractions when you’re trying to build a self-care routine that doesn’t include alcohol. There are exercise options for all ability levels. Something as simple as walking through a park or taking the stairs instead of the elevator can improve your mood, increase your energy level, and give you time to think things through.

6. Time with Like-Minded Friends

Spending time with like-minded friends who are also committed to sobriety can make it easier to have fun without drinking and build healthy habits. Be sure to let your friends know what your priorities are, and the kind of support you need, to make the most of your recovery and growth.

If you need help along the way, reach out to TheHopeLine. If your life feels controlled or dominated by alcohol, I’m glad you’re here, and I’m hopeful you can get help, starting here, Get HopeCoach mentoring today for encouragement as you learn to take better care of yourself and break free.

Worried you're developing an addiction, or have a history of addiction in your family? Read about the warning signs here. 

He Feels Like He Should Just Give In

When Lane was young, his dad killed himself. Now, classmates, family, and friends make jokes about it. Lane’s been told, “Why don’t you just do it now [kill yourself] instead of waiting until your old like your dad!” Lane tries to ignore the taunts, but they do anything and everything they can to get in his head.

Lane wants to prove these people wrong, but then sometimes feels like they are right, and he should just give in.

Don’t Listen to Those Idiots

Lane, you are worth far more than you give yourself credit. These negative, stinky thinking people are trying to bring you down, but the God of the universe created you and loves you! You have tremendous worth! Don’t give in to what these cruel people are saying. Anyone who tells someone else to go kill themself is a person who does not deserve to be heard. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in God’s image. Life has so much to offer, and you have a lot of life to still live!

Peer to Peer Advice on Killing Himself

Marissa, who had thoughts of taking her own life, called in to tell Lane: DON’T DO IT! Brandon had the same message…Don’t Kill Yourself! Roxy points out that suicide passes your pain onto someone else. Brittany says, don’t prove these people right, prove them wrong by living your life and being successful! Here are their responses to Lane:

Don’t Do it! Try to Make Friends! ~Brandon

Brandon - “Don’t kill yourself! I can’t say I know your pain, because I don’t. But I’ve been picked on. I’m in high school right now and it sucks, I hate it. But try to find friends. I have very few in school anymore. Make friends, whether they are in school or out of school. I’ve thought about suicide, but I don’t support anyone who wants to do suicide. One of my friend’s wanted to and I talked her out of it.”

I’ve Been Down the Road of Wanting to Take Away My Life.  ~Marissa

Marissa - “I’m going to speak from a place of personal experience. When I was 14 years old, I went down the road of self-harm and wanting to take away my life. I was raped by my brother’s best friend, and it put me in a really deep hole. I started cutting my wrists. I kept taking pills. I was trying to take that inner pain and started doing physical pain. My family had me go to a psychiatrist and was on medication, but nothing was helping for me.

Then I decided to put my big girl panties on. I was like look, I can’t take away my life from something that happened to me and put everyone else in pain. So, I found out what my passion was, I started writing poetry, and let all my pain come out in my poetry.

Then I found my boyfriend and we’ve been together for 6 years and have a child together. If I would have taken my life away 6 years ago, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m now a store manager.

Don’t give into what these people want, because at the end of the day, it’s not what they want, it’s what you want. Do what’s best for you. Life your life to the fullest. Get out in the world and explore things. Find out what your passion is, work on that craft and perfect it. You are going to find inner peace. Don’t let them get in your head, that’s the enemy talking. You have a beautiful girl by your side, supporting you. Think about it, if you take your life away, that’s going to cause her pain, and you don’t want that. You’re going to get through this!

Suicide Passes Your Pain Onto Someone Else. ~Roxy

Roxy – “Suicide does not end your pain; it only passes it onto someone else. Think about the loss you will be giving to your friends, your family, and that beautiful girl you have by your side, who supports you no matter what. I can know and understand what you’re going through.

I was a user of heroin and cocaine. I almost tried to end my pain and suffering. If it wouldn’t have been for my one good friend, who’s stood with me to this day, by my side, and I’m married to this person. I would not be here.

When that feeling of you wanting to end your life over what someone says about your dad, don’t listen to them. If you stop and think if your father was here today, and you were standing before him and you asked him what you should do? You shouldn’t do it and he’d tell you the same thing. Your girlfriend would be miserable without you. She deeply loves you. If your friends are making fun about your father’s suicide, they are not your friends.

I’ve watched one of my friends kill himself in front of me, and it’s not even fun. Not being able to get there quick enough, not being able to help that person, you regret it. You feel horrible about it. If you need someone to talk to, talk to somebody. Go out hiking for a walk, go visit nature, go to a farm, go do something. Broaden your mind and escape for a little bit. Don’t choose another alternative to end your pain, it’s not going to end it but just make it worse for others.”

Don’t Prove Them Right, Prove Them Wrong. ~Brittany

Brittany - “I need to speak a little bit from personal experience. I was an “oops baby.” I was not supposed to happen. All my life, my stepdad told me every day that I was going to turn out like my mom. That I was not going to get an education. That I was going to get pregnant at a young age. That I was never going to move out of the small town that I lived in.

I got the mindset that I was going to prove him wrong, which is the mindset Lane needs to have for himself. I know he said he wants to give in and prove them right. He needs to do the exact opposite. Don’t prove them right, prove them wrong. Go out and do the exact opposite of what they want you to do. Surround yourself with people who enjoy your company, who enjoy the beautiful life you have. If people are telling you to kill yourself, they are not your friends. I can’t tell you enough how much hurt you doing that would bring to people around you, whether you realize it or not.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Lane needs to surround himself with people who will support him and be true friends. These people who are taunting him are not his friends and what they are saying is horrible. As everyone agreed: “Lane, you are worth so much more than what these people are saying to you.” We join with you Lane, to say no to suicide.

What advice would you give Lane?

If you’ve been ridiculed or told to kill yourself from others, let us know how you handled it. Who or what helped you keep going? Do you agree with Brittany, who says instead of proving them right, prove them wrong?  Please share in the comments below!
If you are having suicidal thoughts, you are not alone, if you need immediate help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at ‘1-800-273-TALK (8255)’.

Resources for Suicide Prevention:

How to Get Help for and Understand Suicidal Thoughts
Suicide Prevention Resources
eBook: Understanding Suicide
Bible Verse About Suicidal Thoughts – Get Hope from God. Need to talk to someone? Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope! If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. For a list of crisis centers around the world and additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.