Do you ever go through a season of life where you feel like you’re floundering? I’ve definitely had that feeling. When you’re not sure if your life is heading in the right direction, you might wonder if you’ll ever be able to find your purpose in life. I’ve done a lot of thinking about purpose, and there are a few things I’ve found helpful to remember as I sort through my feelings and decisions. 

Purpose is a Process

While you may have an occasional “lightbulb moment” when thinking about your purpose in life, it’s more likely that finding your purpose is an ongoing process of decision making. Even when purpose becomes clearer, we will always have to think things through and make adjustments based on what we learn along the way. If you think of purpose as a process, it is easier to stick with as you keep growing.

Look for the Why

Our purpose in life is the "why" behind the choices you make. What makes you tick? Why are you pursuing your current path? It’s the deeper reason that often has to do with a deeper goal. For example, you may be in nursing school. You’re in nursing school because you want to become a nurse. But why do you want to become a nurse? Likely because you want to care for others and help people improve their quality of life. That deeper “why” behind why you’re doing what you’re doing points to your life’s purpose.

Make Room for Stillness

Sometimes it’s hard for me to connect with my sense of purpose simply because I’m distracted by constant pings and demands. Making a point to include quiet and stillness in my routine gives me a chance to think about my purpose, and whether or not that’s what’s really driving my life and motivating my choice. This can include journaling, quiet time after meditation, or spending time in prayer. Prayer and meditation can be great reminders that God loves us, and He created each of us with a purpose.

Find Inspiration

Sometimes it can help to think about who inspires you. They likely are an inspiration because they go through life with a sense of purpose, and a real connection to what drives them. Learn about their lives, and how they overcame challenging and uncertain times. Chances are, you’ll learn some helpful ways to think about life and uncover your purpose.

Get Guidance

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it can still feel like you don’t know why you’re here and what you were meant to do. I know that can be discouraging, but there’s no need to despair. You can seek guidance during the soul-searching and self-exploration that you need to do to learn more about your purpose. Your guidance counselor, therapist, or faith leader can be a great resource. Or you can start right here. TheHopeLine has trained HopeCoaches who can help you talk things through so you feel clearer on your purpose. 

Talk to a Hope Coach today to start learning more about yourself, and to gain the inspiration to help you take on challenges in your life. We believe in you, and we are ready to listen and offer encouragement.

Life can be hard and hope can be hard to find. Read my blog to find out how you can find the hope to keep going. 

When I talk to people about mental health and wellness, I get a lot of questions. People want to know the best course to follow for healing and wholeness, and they want to do whatever they can to “get back to normal” and back to feeling like themselves.

Sometimes people don’t want to address their mental illness with medication. But treating mental illness with medication can be beneficial for many diagnoses.

Everyone is different. Depending on how severe your mental illness symptoms are, and what professionals recommend, the most effective way to treat mental illness may include medication.

Medication is Self-Care

Medication is a way we care for many other illnesses we face. If you had a bad cold, taking cold medicine would ease your discomfort. If you have high blood pressure, your doctor may prescribe something for you to take to balance it out. If you feel overwhelmed by depression, or like your anxiety is too much, asking your doctor or therapist about medication can help you feel more stable and calmer as you navigate the challenges in your life.

There is no need to feel guilt or shame about taking medication for anxiety, depression, bipolar, or another mental illness. Doing what you need to feel healthier and happier is self-care, including when medication is prescribed.

Managing Symptoms

Because mental illnesses have so many factors, curing mental illness completely isn’t feasible. But you can often manage symptoms well enough that you feel better over time as you learn how to cope and care for yourself in healthier ways.

Other Healthy Habits

Along with any treatment you doctor, or psychiatrist prescribe, there are healthy habits that can ease the effects of many mental illnesses. Here are some things that help me when I feel overwhelmed:

• Healthy Eating: Eating a balanced diet can give you more energy to face the ups and downs of life. That includes drinking plenty of water throughout the day.
• Staying Active: Physical activity, whether it’s working out or taking a stroll, can go a long way toward boosting your mood. I enjoy walking in parks and natural areas. But a local community center or mall is a great place to walk when it’s cold or rainy.
• Meditation and Prayer: Spiritual and emotional centering can be very calming and can help you clear your mind. Spending time in prayer can remind you how much God loves you, and that He will never abandon you when things get tough.
• Creativity: Listening to music, making art, and expressing our creativity can help you feel better during a tough time. Creativity is a healthy distraction that reminds us of things we enjoy.

Taking steps like these may not make you feel completely better, but they will likely be a big help as you learn more about yourself on your journey to mental wellness.

It’s always a good idea to include people you trust in your self-care routine, so you feel less isolated and more connected as you heal.

If you’re not sure where to start, TheHopeLine can help. Talk to a HopeCoach today to get encouragement, connect with more support, and find free resources to strengthen your mind and spirit. We are here to help, and we believe in you.

Are you just having a bad week, or is something more going on? Find out what shifts your mental state from “feeling blue” to a depression diagnosis. 

Building faith can be tough when you’re facing a difficult time, especially if you’re reeling after a heartbreaking loss, disappointment, or letdown.

Though it’s not a magical fix or an instant cure for what weighs us down, I’ve found that prayer helps heal heartbreak over time. Daily prayer is always a healthy habit, whether you’re a new believer or struggling with your faith.

https://youtu.be/o7k-CKRNOAw?si=1Qm_Li5osTeTZ4N1

Here are the ways I’ve noticed prayer has a positive impact on my life, even in dark or upsetting seasons of life.

Stopping to Reflect

The act of prayer gives us a chance to stop, be still, and reflect on what lies ahead (or what happened to us during the day). Even if we are not feeling particularly emotionally connected to God during our prayers, taking the time out of your day to pray allows you to center yourself, calm your breathing, and step away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. That quiet time can help you find perspective during heartbreak and in the weeks and months following.

Honesty with God

A quick look through the Psalms shows us we don’t have to wait for prayer until we are feeling happy. Prayer is not reserved for those who feel especially close to God, nor those who feel spiritually strong and ready to take on anything.

While we can and should pray during happy times, prayer is always an option. No matter how you feel or what you’re facing, God loves you, and He is listening to your cries. Honesty with God about your heartbreak is healthy and safe, and it can be particularly healing during times when you are still struggling to be open about your heartbreak with people around you.

A Sense of Connection

Praying alone isn’t the only way to be comforted during heartbreak. Praying with others is a great way to foster a sense of connection so your heartbreak feels less isolating.

Whether praying for your friend to shift your focus to others, or opening up and asking someone to pray for you, prayer can bring people together and strengthen their friendships and relationships.

A Change of Heart

“Create in me a pure heart, O God. And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” - Psalm 51:10

Prayer doesn’t often reverse a situation or change things to be closer to exactly how we want them. But prayer does change us, even when our outward circumstances don’t appear to improve.

Praying regularly can help you cultivate the acceptance and courage you need to overcome heartbreak, even though it’s never an easy feat.

When we pray, we are asking God for help. And with His help, we can grow, mature, and become stronger no matter what life throws our way. Think about how you would like your heart to heal. Ask God to help you get there, and celebrate each victory along the way.

Remember, struggles can persist even when we make regular efforts to pray. Don’t despair; reach out to a Hope Coach at TheHopeLine. We offer support during heartbreak, and encouragement to help you keep moving forward. You don’t have to go through this alone.

When you’re brokenhearted and struggling, feeling God’s love is hard. Read this blog to find out how to continue loving God through painful times. 

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

How to Not Be Dismayed with God

What Does Dismayed Mean? 

What a great verse for this time we are in! There’s a word in that verse, you don’t hear much anymore…dismayed. Dismayed means feeling distress or anxiety, typically at something unexpected.  It also means to look around in terror. God is speaking with tenderness here, telling us not to look around as one might do in danger or in a state of alarm. He’s telling us to instead be calm because He’s here with us.

There are a lot of people these days who are dismayed. This verse tells us a lot of reasons why we shouldn’t be dismayed.

• He is with us.
• He’s, our God.
• He will strengthen us.
• He will help us.
• He will uphold us with his righteous right hand.

That last reason means God’s hand is faithful and can be relied on. He’s reminding us that He is faithful to his promises.

When We Are Afraid or Anxious

When we are afraid or anxious, God is with us. When we are weak, God will strengthen us. He says in this verse, that he’s with us and if God is with us and our protector, whom should we be afraid. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)

Unsettling feelings will come our way, but it’s how we handle it when they do. They may come in the form of anxiety, depression, feeling helpless, worrying about the future, etc., but the more we pray the less dismayed we will be.

As scripture says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

I sure want that peace during this time, don’t you? Let’s pray together right now! I welcome your prayers in the comments!

Let Us Prayer Together During the Crisis!

Dear Heavenly Father,
We love you! We look to you during this time of crisis all around the world. You are greater than any struggle we face. Please bring comfort and peace to every person whose heart is heavy. Take away their fears and anxiety and replace them with your peace. Help us all to stay grounded on you as our solid rock foundation and humble ourselves to pray before you as we face the uncertainty each day. Nothing is certain in our world except for you! Give each of us wisdom on how to proceed throughout our days, who we can help, and what to do. Protect us. Help us all to wholeheartedly trust you!

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Keep praying! Keep Trusting! Don’t be dismayed, God is with us through it all!

Wants to Help Others Who Struggle with Alcoholism 

Candice is struggling with alcoholism and has been for a long time. She’s 28 years old now and has been drinking since she was 14.  She admits, “It’s gotten bad and DHR has 2 of my kids.” She doesn’t want to drink anymore but still ends up drinking. She doesn’t understand why. She recently went to rehab. During her time there, she felt the Holy Spirit move, and felt all the angels praying for her. Since that spiritual experience, she sees people and their sin more clearly. She doesn’t just see them as people getting on her nerves but sees them as people with sin who she can pray for specifically regarding what they are going through.

Candice feels a strong desire to help others in their struggles: “I feel like I can help people because I’ve been through a lot. I feel like I can help someone else that might not even be as far as I am. I’m not where I should be, but I’m not where I used to be either.”

Candice is asking us to pray for her strength to fight this alcoholism that keeps calling her. I shared with her Genesis 4:7b, “Sin is crouching at your door; it desires you, but you must master it.” Candice wants to know if she can still help people in the position, she’s in; even though she’s not ‘fully recovered’.

Who is Fully Recovered? 

If you wait until you are completely clean on an issue, you’ll be waiting a long time to help anyone. Reaching out to others and telling the truth, saying, I’m still struggling with my own addictions, but this is what I’ve learned. This is what happened to me. I’ll pray for you, and you pray for me. This is a powerful way of helping people and helping your own sobriety.

Peer to Peer: What Do You Think? Can Candice Help Others?

Candice is looking for advice and prayer. Can she help someone, even as she fights the pull of alcohol at the same time? Absolutely! We got some great peer to peer feedback from Bailey, Tina, Cindy, William, and Kyle. Whoa, some of these Rockstar’s know the Bible so well and they shared lots of scriptures with Candice as well as spot-on advice!

Share Your Testimony

Bailey has advice for Candice, “My sister was an alcoholic and thanks to Jesus Christ, has recovered. Praise God! In the experience I’ve had, telling your story/giving your testimony is the only way to know there are other people in your shoes. She’s really going to touch other people’s lives and I’ll think she’ll be surprised, as she learns and grows, how many other people are going through what she’s going through. My encouragement is to find a church home and stick with it because you are on the right track and you have what you need, which is God.

Pray Affirmations Over Your Life

Tina says, “The struggle she is going through is not unique to her. When she talks about how she’s caught between the dark and the light, the apostle Paul had the same struggle. He said, there were 2 things that warred on the inside of him. This (Paul) was the person who wrote 60% of the New Testament and he had a struggle. It’s important to understand, the struggle happens when you try to hold onto the things you are not supposed to hold onto. Like Bailey said, when she gives her testimony, she’ll realize how many people she can help as the Bible says, “They overcame by the word of their testimony.” The enemy will try to silence her, but the Bible also says, “life and death is in the power of the tongue.” One of the things I do is pray affirmations over my life and Candice should pray affirmations over her life. I read these scriptures which affirm the Word over my life:

• 1 Peter 1:23, “For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God.”
• Ephesians 1:7, “He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.”
• Hebrews 9:14, “Just think how much more the blood of Christ will purify our consciences from sinful deeds so that we can worship the living God. For by the power of the eternal Spirit, Christ offered himself to God as a perfect sacrifice for our sins.”
• Colossians 1:13-14, “For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.”
• 1 John 1:9, “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.”

There are a lot of affirmations she needs to do. When she begins to speak these over her life. The bible says, He will write the Word on the tablet of your heart. She needs to get into the word of God and daily, because the Word of God is the bread of life. When you read the word of God, it’s what God is saying on a daily basis.”

Deal With the Real Reasons You are Hurt

Cindy agrees with Tina and shares, “I grew up in a family of alcoholics. They drink to bury pain. They drink because they hurt. I think if she goes after the real reason of why she’s so hurt inside. She’s shoving hurt back down inside every time she wants to drink or there’s something that’s triggering the urge to drink. She’s wounded inside and needs to deal with the hurt and she needs healing. It’s better to be filled with the Holy Spirit than it is with wine. If she can surrender her struggle and go to the cross, she could be totally free. When she is totally free, and applies the Word, she will be able to minister and help other people as well. She doesn’t have to be bound because, Jesus will set her free.”

We Aren't a Failure in Christ

William shares that Christ still loves her regardless of her failures. “The biggest lie comes from the enemy is that we’re a failure to God when we make mistakes. My failure was that I backslid on God and went back to alcohol. We aren’t a failure in Christ. The Bible says, a righteous man will fall down seven times, but he’ll get back up. Paul said to God, I have a thorn in my flesh, but God told him His grace was sufficient for him. God loves you, Candice, regardless, of what you’ve done wrong, what you’re battling with. Keep your head up and fight the good fight of faith and lay hold of what God’s called you to do and there’s somebody that your supposed to help.”

Get a Sponsor at Alcoholics Anonymous 

Here’s Kyle’s awesome advice: “I’ve been an alcoholic myself since I’ve been 14 and I’m 26 years old. I’m going on 9 months of sobriety. I was able to do that through AA. It’s very important to get into Alcoholics Anonymous. You can find a location near you or a building downtown for it. Once you get into AA, it’s very important to get a sponsor. In those moments where you have urges to drink, you just give them a call. Find someone you admire, someone that has the same traits as you and that way they can be your sponsor. I’ve had moments where I wanted to take a drink and it’s been eating at me. I got down on my knees and prayed. It was amazing, the urge to drink the alcohol went away. Pray the serenity prayer, over and over if you have to, whatever it takes, as long as you don’t drink. I found when I take myself out of environments where there’s a lot of alcohol involved; it keeps me from drinking. I’m a sober person now and closer to God. I was able to take the mistakes I’ve made and turn them around and become closer to God. I’m now the person I was meant to be. I encourage you to do the same.”

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Addiction to alcohol is keeping Candice stuck. She wants to help people but is not sure if she can. She’s had an experience with God but is feeling the conflict of God’s call on her life as well as the dark calling to her. The awesome part is that Candice is recognizing the struggle and talking about it. She’s allowing the truth to come out and allowing others to speak truth into her life. She needs to get into AA and get a sponsor (thank you Kyle!) and she needs to get Team Candice around her so that she can have support to resist the pull of alcohol. In James 4:7, “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Candice must resist as the temptation of alcohol tries to keep her stuck.

What advice would you give Candice?

If you’ve faced an alcohol addiction and have advice for Candice. Please share in the comments below!

Resources for Alcoholism Recovery:

You can recover from addiction. Start down the road of recovery by downloading our free eBook: Understanding Substance Abuse.
Also, check out my blogs on Addiction Recovery:

• Addiction Recovery: Warning Signs of Addiction
• Addiction Recovery: What to Do After a Relapse
• How to Break the Silence: I’m Afraid to Talk About My Addiction
• Healthy Self-Care for People in Addiction Recovery

You Have a Purpose:

• Pursued by God
• Sabrina's Dream: Never Give Up!

If you are using alcohol to mask your hurt and pain, you are not alone. These verses of Hope will help you cope and understand substance abuse and God’s love for you: Verses of Hope for Substance Abuse.
Need to talk to someone? Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope! 

How to Reduce Stress When Studying

Studying is one of the most important parts of succeeding at school, but it can also be one of the biggest and most consistent sources of school pressures. So how can you lower stress when it’s time to hit the books? Here are some healthy study habits that help me when I have to do intensive research for a project.

#1: Take Care of Your Body

Your brain and your body are inseparable. So caring for your physical health can only help your study time be more effective and more productive. This includes things like:

• Not drinking too much caffeine, which can make you feel more anxious
• Drinking plenty of water
• Replacing sugary snacks with more nutritious, protein-rich snacks (veggies, mixed nuts, hummus, etc.)

I like to keep a bottle of water nearby while working so I can stay hydrated. Caring for our bodies is a great way to keep our minds sharp.

#2: Take Mindful Breaks

Taking breaks during studying can be beneficial, and can help you sustain your focus better when it’s time to get back to work. Time your breaks for between 5 and 10 minutes for each hour of study time. During this time, you might:

• Pray or meditate: If your study time is particularly stressful, or for a high-stakes test, it is a good idea to still yourself with some deep breathing, so you can remind yourself that God can handle anything. No matter what you’re facing, it will not overwhelm God.
• Move: Healthy movement, like walking around the room or doing some light stretching, keeps the blood flowing. That makes you feel better, and can give you a little energy boost during a long evening of studying.

Pairing regular, short breaks with a mindful attitude is a great way to build healthy study habits that make you feel better, not worse.
https://staging.wwwthehopelinecom.rackless.dev/how-to-cling-to-god-in-the-midst-of-anxiety-and-worrying/

#3: Study Every Day

Even if you don’t have an assignment due the next day, regularly reviewing what you learned is more effective than just cramming the night before a big exam or project due date.
Like practicing a musical instrument, the more you familiarize yourself with what you’re studying, the more comfortable you’ll become with the material.

#4: Have a Support System

According to the American Psychological Association, respondents in a stress study who had a support system reported they had a significantly lower stress level than people without a support system. Just knowing someone is there for you, or there with you, can make a big difference. This can mean:

• Studying with a group: If you’re all committed to doing well, a study group can be a great means of support. You can divide up the study materials, so it is not all on one person’s plate. And instead of having to rely only on your memory, you get the benefit of what others remember, too.
• Tutoring: Getting a tutor can turn things around if you are struggling in a class. Your instructor can recommend a tutor, or you can find a friend you trust who is doing well in a difficult subject and ask if they are willing to help.

Sometimes, no matter what you try, it feels like school pressures are overwhelming. You don’t have to face them alone. Chat with a Hope Coach from TheHopeLine today. Make a plan to lower stress, build healthier study habits, and succeed this school year. We are here for you.

If you're feeling stressed from school, there are ways to cope. Read my blog, School Pressure: How to Cope with Stress in a Healthier Way.  

How to Improve Your Mood

If you’ve been going through a difficult time, I know how overwhelming it can feel. Mental health challenges can make every day feel unpredictable. You can experience a lot of ups and downs in a short amount of time.

Sometimes, it’s necessary to include our mental healthcare as part of your overall healthcare. You may need to see a doctor or psychiatrist so they can prescribe medication to help correct physical or chemical imbalances.

But there are also many simple ways to improve your mood that may help in addition to prescribed treatments, starting with building healthy habits.

If you are struggling with depression these ideas may not seem simple to you, but try one thing at a time, one day at a time. Give yourself a lot of grace and keep trying. You are worth it!

Unplugging from Your Devices

We need our digital devices to some degree to work, learn, or communicate with our loved ones. But sometimes too much digital device use can lead to feelings of anxiety or overstimulation (where you’re wound up by lots of things happening around you at once).

Taking breaks from those devices is a great way to calm your mind and help you feel more relaxed, which may improve your mood.

You could try silencing your phone after school or work, deleting apps that constantly notify you of activity, or putting your phone in your bag or pocket when spending time with loved ones. Taking any of these steps, in addition to calming you down, could also make you feel more focused on the conversations or activities around you.

Listening to Music

Numerous studies have been done about music’s impact on the mood. And the news is good. Music can improve mood, even if the songs are sad.

Next time you’re feeling depressed or anxious, listen to some music. No matter what you choose, you’ll likely experience a sense of calm, relief, and feeling more connected to others.

Getting Active

One of the most important parts of a healthy self-care routine is regular physical activity. While some people enjoy long runs or intense workouts as a form of stress relief, intensity is not necessary to see a benefit from physical activity.

It could mean gentle stretching, a daily stroll, or using hand weights. Whatever you’re able to do, regular physical activity releases endorphins. Endorphins make people feel happier, and stress can be reduced as muscles move and relax.

Meditation or Prayer 

Many people find they feel better on their journey to emotional healing when they take a little time out of each day to center themselves. Meditation and breathing exercises can be a great way to check-in with your mind, body, and spirit. And taking a moment to slow things down can have a positive impact on your mood.

Likewise, spending time in prayer and worship could be very beneficial, especially if you have found comfort in your faith in the past. Prayer is a great way for me to remember that God cares about me and is listening to me, even on days when I feel like no one else is.

Prayer is also a great time to pause and think about good things in your life and thank God for those things. Practicing gratitude and remembering what you are thankful for is important in shifting your thoughts away from negativity.

Talking Things Through

Once you’ve had some time to yourself to understand how you feel, it could be very helpful to talk about your feelings with someone else. A close friend or family member can offer a listening ear for the day-to-day stressors.

If you feel like you need extra support, TheHopeLine is here for you. Talk to a HopeCoach to get ideas about how to improve your mood and better care for your mental health. We are here for you, and we believe things will get better.

Are you feeling worn out and down about life? Read 31 tips to boost your mental health by our friends at Centerstone.

It pains me whenever someone shares with me that they’re being abused. And if you feel stuck in the cycle of abuse, it can seem like there’s no way to escape it. 

But you CAN get out of an abusive relationship. And there are people who are equipped to help and support you as you do so. 

At TheHopeLine, we’ve helped a lot of people break free from the control and cruelty of an abusive relationship. Here are some of the things people realized on their journey to escaping abuse and starting to heal.

They Understand Things Are Bad

One of the keys to getting out of an abusive relationship is admitting to yourself how painful it is. This reality check is key. Check in with yourself and offer honest answers to questions like:

• Have I been hurt physically, sexually, or emotionally by this person?
• How does this person’s behavior make me feel?
• Have people I trust expressed concern about this person?
• Has their behavior continued even though they know it is causing me pain?
• Is this person controlling who I can talk to or be around?
• Has my quality of life improved or declined since being close to this person?
• How would my life be different if I could leave this relationship or distance myself from this person?

If you realize after asking yourself these questions that you are suffering in an abusive relationship, don’t despair.

They Want Things to Get Better

People who have been freed from abuse not only realized things were bad, but they also knew things could get better. And they were motivated to see that happen.

I have to agree. Not only because I think everyone is worthy of love and safety, but because I agree that “nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).

I know things can seem scary, but I believe God is always with us and will never abandon us. And I know He believes in you, too.

You do not deserve abuse. It is not your fault. And things can get better. You can take steps to protect yourself, your heart, and your spirit, and you have never lost your worth, value or strength.

They are Ready to Ask for Help

The people who have broken free from abuse have not done it alone. Asking for help and support is critical in any overwhelming situation. While your friends and family may not be fully equipped or expertly trained to help you leave an abusive relationship, plenty of people are.

TheHopeLine mentors are trained to offer confidential support to people who want to heal from abuse.

Email or chat with a HopeCoach whenever you need a listening ear. I also encourage you to check out our list of partner organizations. Many people care about you and want to help you, including me.

I am thinking of you and praying for you. And I believe you can find healing from abuse – starting now. You are not alone.

Are you coping with sexual abuse? There is hope. You can be a whole person, healed and recovered from what happened to you. Read more...

How to Know It's Time to End a Relationship

Dating can be exciting and fun, but it’s not without its challenges. When people come to me for dating help, they sometimes have to ask a tough question: is it time to end my relationship?

Knowing when to end your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t always apparent, and sometimes things can be worked through or overcome.

But there are some unhealthy patterns that can develop in dating relationships. And staying in an unhealthy situation will be harmful to your own wellbeing over time.

If you are trying to decide when and if to end a relationship, I’d start with this: be honest about how you’re feeling, and how the person you’re dating makes you feel.

Do You Feel Unsafe?

Even if your girlfriend has not shown clear signs of abusive behavior, they may have a tendency toward anger or outbursts that makes you feel unsafe. You are not obligated to stay with someone until or unless they hurt you. If you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or fearful around someone, you don’t have to maintain a relationship with them.

Do You Feel Drained?

Sometimes, we can care a lot about someone, but that relationship can turn into a one-way street where we are always the ones giving our time, our money, and our emotions to make the other person feel happy and comfortable.

Meanwhile, they may not consider our feelings, our energy level, or what we need when we are struggling. If you’re with someone who doesn’t seem to respond or want to change when things feel out of balance, it may be time to make a change. You don’t want to remain in a toxic relationship with someone when there are plenty of people who are willing to have a healthier approach to dating.

Are You Not Ready?

You should never feel pressured to do anything you are not ready to do in a dating relationship. If you’re dating someone who is pressuring you to have sex, move in together, or get married, you should let them know if you don’t feel ready. If they are not willing to respect that boundary, and if they continue to push things forward without listening to you, it is time to start thinking about how to distance yourself from them.

Are You Incompatible?

I’ve heard many stories about dating relationships that start off great, with lots of romance, chemistry, and fun, only to run into trouble when people tried to take things deeper. Sometimes, it’s simply time to step away from a relationship because you are incompatible with them.

This may happen because you have different ideas about God and faith, which shapes how you each approach challenges and big decisions. It may be that you have different priorities. Or you may simply want different things from the relationship. It’s a difficult conversation to have, but it may be best to end the relationship— especially if have serious doubts about your long-term happiness.

The silver lining to these tough conversations is this: you don’t have to go into them unprepared, or without support. TheHopeLine can help. Ask a HopeCoach for dating advice on important relationship questions or browse our ebook and podcast libraries. Whatever you decide, we are here to support you as you learn about healthy, happy relationships.

If relationships are not building you up, it is worth finding new relationships. Watch this video from a licensed counselor helping you with the fears of ending a toxic relationship.