We live in a time of instant gratification. With communication being so fast and easy, we can end up feeling like our relationships and friendships are on auto-pilot.
But the great news is, I’ve found any friendship or relationship can grow when people are willing to make the effort. It all comes down to being more intentional when spending time with people we care about.
“Intentionality refers to acts being deliberate or purposeful. [Being intentional means] deliberately spending time together, purposefully placing the need of others above your own” (source: I’ll Push You).
I’ve found a few things help me practice intentionality in my close relationships.
Plan Quality Time
I often lose touch with people I care about because I assume we’ll talk or get together. And sure enough, life and its distractions get in the way.
Planning quality time and making sure to honor our engagements is a great way to practice intentionality. Whether it’s setting a reminder in your phone to call your parents or putting a lunch with a friend on the calendar, small steps like these make a big difference when it comes to building emotional intimacy over time.
If you’re looking to be more intentional in a dating relationship, scheduling a date night is a great way to do so. And you don’t have to break the bank to be there for your boyfriend or girlfriend. There are plenty of creative date ideas that will bring you together without overspending.
Focus
Greater focus is key to being more intentional. But focus doesn’t always come naturally, especially when life gets busy. It is important that when you are spending time with your friends or significant other that you can really focus on them and what they are saying and not be distracted.
You can practice meditation or deep breathing to improve focus. Spending time in prayer each day is also helpful. Building your faith in God and asking for His help will no doubt help you find more meaning and joy in your friendships.
Ask Questions
It’s easy to take people we care about for granted. Once we get used to spending time together, we fall into an easy rhythm. That rhythm can be pleasant, but it can also keep us from getting closer to one another.
Asking questions is a great way to make a deliberate effort to connect with family and friends. See how life, work, and school are going. Ask about their latest interests or hobbies. Showing an interest is also showing you care.
Unplug
While technology can help us in our relationships, there’s no end to the distractions our phones and computers put in front of us every day. Unplugging from our devices (or at least putting them on silent) is a great way to be more present when we’re with people we care about. That way we never miss an important moment with those we love for something buzzing in our pocket.
Sometimes we need more ideas about how to build stronger friendships and relationships. TheHopeLine can help. Talk to a Hope Coach whenever you need guidance. We’re always here to listen, and we’ll do whatever we can to support you in your relationships.
Are you having trouble making and keeping friends? Check out my blog, How to Make Friends with these 4 steps.
Grieving after loss can be so difficult and painful, especially after the death of someone we care about.
I’m sorry you’re going through a season of grief. I know that you’re feeling some strong emotions, and that many of them seem negative (sorrow, sadness, loneliness, fear, anger, etc.). But grieving is normal even when grief comes out of nowhere. Most of the time, you’re not “doing it wrong”.
Here are some healthy ways to experience and process grief that I hope will help you along the path to healing.
Feel Grief, Don’t Numb It
Feeling the range of emotions that come with grieving is healthy and normal. But be sure you don’t try to numb your feelings through unhealthy behaviors.
Excessive eating or drinking may make you feel good temporarily but numbing your grief doesn’t heal your wounds. It is easy to fall into patterns of addictive behavior if you’re looking for healing in behaviors that only offer a temporary fix, especially if those behaviors harm your body through drug use, alcohol abuse, or an unhealthy relationship with food.
Acknowledge Grief, Don’t Hide It
When you’re tempted to numb your grief, acknowledge it. Trying to hide it by pretending everything is OK ignores your pain and distances you from people who can otherwise support you. Refusing to talk about grief can become very isolating and can increase your feelings of abandonment.
You don’t have to shout your grief from the rooftops to experience healthy grief and you don’t have to share your feelings with anyone you’re not comfortable with. But simple acknowledgments go a long way:
Being honest with yourself about grief helps you know what kind of support you need.
Telling trusted friends and family allows them to be there for you to express their love for you and helps you avoid lapsing into unhealthy grief behaviors.
Another advantage of talking about your grief is realizing how many other people close to you have experienced loss. This will bring you closer together as you help one another heal.
Take Small Steps Toward Healing
After any loss (a death, losing a job, a breakup, etc.), grief takes time. And grief changes how you see the world and interact with others. It takes time to recover after loss and allowing yourself time and space to figure things out is crucial.
This might mean spending more time alone or in smaller groups, taking time to journal about your emotions, or scheduling an appointment with a counselor to talk things through. If you need support or help from a friend on a particularly tough day, don’t be ashamed to ask for that help. People who care about you want to be there for you.
I know grief can feel lonely, but you don’t have to go through it alone. TheHopeLine offers grief support mentoring and resources to help you along the way. Reach out to us anytime you need help healing during grief. We are always here to listen.
When life gets hard do you ever wonder why bad things happen? Find the answers to help you understand here.
We also have a partner, GriefShare, who is a caring support group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life's most difficult experiences.
Here we sit at the start of another New Year. 365 blank days staring us in the face waiting to be written. What story will those 365 days tell at the end of this year?
That is kind of a daunting question to ask yourself. And yet most people do ask it. It is why we make resolutions and set goals. We desire the year before us to tell a GOOD story.
Finding Focus with One Word
I have written blogs on how to motivate yourself to keep your resolutions and tips for keeping your resolutions. I believe there is real value in setting goals for the year.
But today I want to talk about a different idea to consider as you start a new year. I’ve heard it referred to as One Word for the New Year or One-Word Resolutions. Essentially – you pick one word that encompasses how you want to approach the New Year.
For example, maybe your word for the year is Discipline. This is your focus for the year. You are saying that you want to approach your work, your relationships, your spiritual life, etc. with discipline. You are committing to giving a full effort to areas of your life this year and not just giving a laid-back, half-effort to the important things in your life. You want to be disciplined and stay on task.
On the flip side, maybe your word for the year is Relax. Perhaps you have had several stressful years in a row, and this is not the year for you to be disciplined, but a year for you to give yourself a break. Your focus is on finding balance and learning to relax.
Whatever your word – it is something personal that you select based on this point in your life. It gives you a focus on how you approach all aspects of your life for this one year. It helps you determine the kind of person you want to become. Rachel Olsen, co-author of “My One Word: Change Your Life with Just One Word” says,
"A word can’t be broken. It serves as a reminder, a filter. It’s who you want to be instead of what you regret."
For me, I like the word, Grace. It is a good reminder on how to approach everyone in my life…from my family and co-workers to the teens and young adults that call my radio show to strangers that I meet. I want to show everyone grace. We all have “stuff” in our lives and the more grace I can extend each person letting them know that I understand life isn’t easy and I’ll love them anyway…the less uptight I will be from holding everyone to such a high standard and hopefully those around me will be blessed as well.
How Do You Go About Selecting Your Word for the Year?
Begin by taking some time to decide what kind of person you want to be. Then identify the characteristics of that person and write them down. You might have a lot of words on your list now. Now pick JUST ONE WORD. Resist the temptation to pick more than one. With just one word, you can view all situations that come up over the next year through your WORD.
Don’t pick your word quickly or randomly. Think it over for a while. Pray about it and ask God to give you clear direction on your word for the year and then ask Him to help you stay focused.
To help inspire you here are some words to get you thinking:
I hope you will give this a try. It’s not necessarily easy to stay focused on your word for an entire year, but hopefully you will see small successes in becoming the person you want to be, and that God wants you to be.
Picking a word and doing something, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction and that one step could lead to the next step.
Don’t get discouraged if you lose focus from time to time. Any change you make with your One Word in mind is significant. What do you think? Do you think picking a word for the year might help motivate you? Do you have a word that you want to strive for this year? Please share your thoughts in the comments below. Maybe you will inspire someone else.
Finding more meaning in your life is not only possible, but it can also be done in simple, inspiring ways. Click here to gain unexpected inspiration with 5 simple ways to find meaning in your life!
I love January. It’s all about getting a fresh start. It’s also a great time to look at your life and decide what you’d like to change. In other words, it’s a time for New Year’s Resolutions.
Why even bother to make New Year's Resolutions?
Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution? Lots of people do. However, I find that New Year’s Resolutions can get a bad rap because many people anticipate giving up on their goals before they even start. They quit making resolutions because they failed so often in the past. Are you one of them? Do you feel like it is a pointless activity to set goals at the beginning of the year? Do you wonder why you should even bother?
My answer is this, because YOU are worth it. People who have quit reflecting on their bad habits, mistakes and dreams have often given up the hope of bettering themselves or bettering the world around them. I care for you too much to let you do that without at least having this conversation. It is possible for you to change a bad habit, learn not to make the same mistakes again or begin to accomplish a big dream. Sometimes we just need motivation and direction.
I hope this list of 10 tips for keeping your New Year's resolutions will help you as you attempt to remain committed to your New Year’s promises.
Don’t make too many resolutions. To begin with focus on just one or two goals for the year. It’s hard enough to follow through on one, why overwhelm yourself with four or five? Pick the one or two you feel are the most important and focus on that.
Don’t be discouraged if you aren’t perfect from the start. When you say that you’re going to do something or change something, that you’ve either never had the habit of doing before (like exercising) OR have been in the habit of doing for a LONG time (like smoking) don’t expect perfection. Pat yourself on the back for each success, and if you feel like you have failed, forgive yourself, get back up and start again. You haven’t failed, unless you give up.
Take one bite at a time. Do something small today, something small tomorrow, and the next day and the next and the next. It is amazing what you and I can do if we are persistent. The problem, habit or dream you are tackling may be big, but you can make it manageable by dealing with it one day at a time.
Decide ahead of time how you’re going to deal with the temptation. The temptation to give up is going to come up. Have a plan for dealing with this temptation. Maybe it’s calling a friend or some other planned activity to keep you on track. Also make a list of the benefits of sticking with your plan, and the disadvantages of giving up.
Out of sight; out of mind; out of gas. Resolutions are no good if you don’t keep the idea in front of you. Develop a way of keeping your goal in front of you every day. Put it on your fridge, write it on your hand, send yourself a text whatever it takes. The point is that if you don’t keep your resolution in front of you, the pursuit of it will never become a habit. Without habits, dreams never become realities. So, find a way to remind yourself every day of where you have determined to go, but also the next step you have to take to get there.
Make it simple, clear and compelling. Your Resolution may be small or big, easy or challenging. Both are fine, but the important thing is to make it achievable. Make sure you set realistic and attainable goals. If you don’t, you’ll be easily discouraged when you discover you can’t achieve them. If you have a really big goal you’d like to achieve, break it up into smaller, more manageable mini goals. That way you can track your progress and more clearly see the results.
Write it Down. I suggest you write it down into one clear statement that fires you up and is easy to remember. When we write down our New Year’s resolutions it forces us to be more clear with what we’re hoping to accomplish. Be as specific as possible about what it’s going to take, as well as what the results will look like.
Track your progress and reward yourself. Keep track of each small success you make along the way toward your larger goal. This will help keep you motivated. When you reach your goal, or accomplish something you set out to achieve, make sure you congratulate yourself in some special way. This promise of reward will help you to keep moving forward when things get difficult along the way.
Two are Better than One. If you’re really serious about making (or breaking) a habit, or about achieving a special dream, you need to get someone to team up with you. Someone who will help you stick with it, encourage you, challenge you, believe in you. It can be a friend, a parent, a coach, a counselor, a pastor. And more than one is even better. The point is, people who are really serious about change, never go it alone. They find that key person or persons to help them.
Change Goes Inside Out. A guy named Stephen Covey once wrote a book about habits. The idea behind the book was that most successful people get what they want…not by luck, not by who they know, not by where or to whom they were born, and not by being in the right place at the right time. They do it by developing a few key habits, and those habits, if maintained, all but guarantee a high degree of success.
You won't accomplish your dreams or change the world overnight, but you can make some progress toward it every day. I'm proud of you! Stick with it!
Life can be difficult and uncertain, especially when faced with the prospect of change. Here are six steps to making any needed change in your life.
Adulthood can be an exciting time of growth, change, and learning. But it can present lots of challenges, too.
Sometimes talking to your parents seems more difficult than it used to be, and strained parent relationships make life harder at home.
If you have had a poor relationship with your parents, it will impact you in a number of ways as you grow and mature. The clearest effects are often seen in your mental health and in your relationships with others. You may feel fearful of closeness to others, or you may form relationships too quickly before you really get to know someone. You may experience symptoms of depression and anxiety, such as isolation, loneliness, or panic. Whatever it is you’re facing, remember that your difficult parent relationships are just one part of your life, and you can find freedom from the negative effects.
There are ways to ease the strain and negative effects to build stronger relationships with your parents. Here are some of the ways I’ve seen relationships between parents and their adult children change for the better.
How to Change a Bad Parental Relationship
1. Remain Respectful
Stronger parent relationships are possible when you’re able to remain respectful in spite of disagreements. Dr. Kathleen Smith puts it this way on her blog post about parent relationships:
“While you don’t have to agree with any of these opinions, your parents will likely prove a lot more receptive to your choices if you treat these differences with respect. You can be honest about who you are and what’s important to you without being dismissive of their own beliefs.”
If listening to your parents speak about issues where you disagree feels impossible, there are likely lots of other things you can talk about that won’t cause as much friction. Try shifting the conversation to more comfortable topics while you find peace about your differences.
2. Remember: Nobody’s Perfect
It can be hard to confront our parents’ imperfections when we had very high expectations of them as children. But your parents make mistakes, experience failure, and have been shaped by painful experiences just like you have.
If you’re constantly disappointed by what your parents say and do, it may be time to adjust your expectations to something more realistic.
Try not to make assumptions or take things personally. Often people are frustrated and angry for a variety of reasons. Rather than assuming the worst about why your parents are upset, try asking them questions. You may find that you're wanting to better understand them puts them more at ease and decreases tension.
3. Look for Positives
Whenever possible, find the positives in your parents’ lives, their legacy, and their actions toward you. If you feel safe talking to your parents, let them know you love them and appreciate what they’ve been able to do for you. Hearing you’re loved makes a big difference for you, and I’m sure your parents would feel a great sense of relief and peace knowing you love them.
4. Keep the Faith
I know that parent relationships are different for everyone. Some are just frustrating, while others include a history of toxic or abusive behavior.
It may not always be possible to fully repair your relationship with your parents. But there can always be hope for a feeling of greater safety in the present and peace about your past.
Don’t lose hope if your parent relationships are tough. Talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine to get help with parent relationships.
We are here for you, and we’re hopeful your family relationships will continue to get stronger.
Whether you’re a new believer or have grown up in your faith community, sharing your faith is likely important to you. You care about your friends, but you don’t want to be ashamed of what you believe.
So, it’s natural to wonder: how can I talk about faith without harming friendships?
I’m hopeful that I can encourage you to share your faith confidently and lovingly using some of the things I’ve learned along the way.
Without Love, It’s Nothing
One of my favorite passages in scripture are Paul’s words about love in 1 Corinthians. He starts the chapter this way:
“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
It helps to remember these powerful words before I share my faith. If we share our faith to be boastful, or because we are looking down on others, we might as well say nothing. Our words and actions must be motivated by love to make a positive impact on the people around us.
And yes, this means sharing our faith with other people because we love them. But it’s more than that. If I shared what was wrong with someone else’s life or their beliefs, they aren’t going to be open to having many more conversations with me about my faith. But if I am sharing what I love about my faith, it’s much more likely to come across in a kinder, gentler way.
Put Faith into Action
Talking about what we believe is good, but when people see our faith in action, that’s even better. Here’s how:
Treating people with kindness
Loving our enemies
Helping people who are in need
Being patient with someone who is struggling
These are just a few of the many ways we can show people that we trust in God’s power and love with more than just our words.
Be Prepared for Some Rejection
This may sound discouraging, but I find it freeing. If I am not expecting perfect responses every time I share my faith, I feel a lot less pressure. It helps me to remember that Jesus and many of his followers got treated terribly by many for sharing their faith. But they still changed many lives with love.
If someone gets angry or distances themselves after talking to me about faith, it’s natural to feel down. But it’s helpful to know that, even if I ruffle a few feathers, it’s still good and right to share what I believe with kindness.
Listen and Learn
It’s good to remember that sharing our faith is a conversation. It’s always a good idea to listen to your friends, let them ask questions, and share their feelings. As long as it’s a mutually respectful conversation, it’s a great way to grow your relationship and strengthen your friendship.
Wait on God
I’ve noticed that, unless I make a conscious effort to put it before God, sharing my faith can become more about me than about Him.
Sometimes we have no idea what to say, and that’s okay. Prayer and patience are great ways to put things before God in faith. There is nothing wrong with waiting on Him to make things clear.
Praying for friends is always a good choice, too. It is an act of love, and it can help us gain wisdom and insight on how to be a better friend to them when they need us.
It’s important to remember that you will always feel a little uncertain when it comes to sharing your faith. And that’s totally normal. After all, we don’t know how it will go until we try. But it’s a great idea to reach out for encouragement when you feel afraid.
Talking with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine can help you find a way to bring faith and friendship together. We are here to listen and support you however we can on your faith journey.
Is your friend mad at God right now? Our expectations or false ideas of who God is can sometimes be the root of the anger. Read my blog, What to Do When We're Mad at God for help.
It’s frustrating to struggle with low self-esteem, but you can build it back up. Think of people and places that make you feel nourished and cared for, spend time with those people and in those places when you can. Remember that feelings, while strong and powerful, aren’t always true. Learning why you feel the way you feel and talking to people about it can be a big help.
If you have low self-esteem, respecting yourself can feel challenging. But it’s possible to grow and feel more comfortable in your own skin and be happier with your life.
I’ve learned some healthy habits that tend to lift my mood and improve my self-esteem when I put them into practice. I hope they encourage you, too.
Acknowledge Your Good Qualities
Often at the root of our struggles with self-esteem is a battle to reclaim and rebuild our self-worth. If you hate yourself and you don’t feel worthy of love, you’re going to struggle with feeling good about yourself, even when things seem to be going well.
It can be easy to only focus on what’s gone wrong in life and mistakes you feel you’ve made. But that’s not the sum total of who you are. You have good qualities. Take time to acknowledge things like:
What you like about yourself
What your family and friends like about you
Times you’ve been there for friends
Times you’ve helped someone feel better
Moments you made someone smile or laugh
Taking a moment to remember your strengths and good qualities will help you realize your worth to other people and your deep value in their life.
Celebrate Your Accomplishments
You may be going through a tough season of life right now. I’ve definitely been through times like that. When I feel that way, it’s helpful for me to celebrate accomplishments and milestones, even if they seem small.
Think back over your life, and over the last few weeks or months. Ask yourself:
What are you proudest to have achieved or been a part of?
What recent projects have you completed for school, or for your favorite hobby?
What did you check off your to-do list this week?
Our accomplishments, big and small, can increase confidence and help us remember that we’re capable of overcoming challenges and coming out on the other side for the better.
Make a Habit of Gratitude
Practicing gratitude is about more than building good habits. Regularly focusing on gratitude can have a measurable impact on self-worth and self-esteem over time.
Similarly, a gratitude ritual can make it easier to recall and focus on positive circumstances, beliefs, and relationships when you’re struggling.
For example, when I am thankful for the love of my family, and I focus on what I appreciate about them every day, it makes it easier for me to realize how much love and respect they give me, and how valuable I am to them.
If you’re not sure what to do for a gratitude ritual, try adding it into a routine you already have. Maybe you think about what you’re grateful for on your morning run. Maybe while you’re praying in the morning, you can take a moment to thank God for His abundant love and forgiveness. Or maybe you can take a few minutes before bed to list what you’re grateful for in a journal.
Whatever you decide to try, see if you can notice how it improves your self-worth and your self-esteem over time.
Build Healthy Relationships
Sometimes our self-esteem takes a hit because we’ve surrounded ourselves with people who make us feel bad about ourselves and tear us down.
Distancing ourselves from toxic relationships and focusing on building healthy relationships can go a long way toward helping us remember our value to others.
Sometimes it can be hard to rediscover your self-worth, no matter how hard you try. But you aren’t alone in this struggle. Talk to a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine if you need help improving self-esteem. We care about you and believe you are worthy of love and acceptance. Reach out to us whenever you need someone to listen.
Are you feeling worn out and down about life? Try these 31 tips to boost your mental health.
Mikayla shares with us her struggles with self-worth. She says, “I’ve been struggling with some self-worth issues. I tend to look for my self-worth in guys. I’ve recently moved here, so I don’t have a home church and I don’t have any friends yet. I don’t know how I can be held accountable for not going and doing things with guys in order to feel good enough. I don’t know how to hold myself accountable for that if I don’t have any friends to do so.”
Acting Out Sexually is a Great Thrill but a Horrible Chill
Mikayla needs accountability to keep her from acting out sexually online with guys because the acting out is a great thrill but a horrible chill, all at the same time. After acting out, she always comes back empty wanting more. She needs help so she’s not trapped on the terrible slope she’s headed for now…being used by guys to feel better about herself. Then she needs to ask herself, Why is my self-esteem so low and how can I see it get lifted? And that’s the hard work. We can’t get to the hard work yet, because all the acting out is making matters worse.
Peer to Peer: Advice Needed for Mikayla
How can Mikayla get accountability help? Where should she go and who should she turn to? How can she work on her self-worth, so she doesn’t have to keep turning to guys to feel good about herself? Edith, Brandon, and Savannah had awesome advice, feedback, and encouragement for Mikayla. Let’s find out what they had to say.
The One Who Hung the Stars Loves You
As Edith was waiting to speak with Mikayla, she prayed and asked God to guide her in what to say to Mikayla. Edith says, “I’ve been exactly where you’re at, looking for love, looking for that acceptance, and looking for that one thing that makes me feel good. The thing that keeps coming to my mind is the one who hung the stars, loves you and He picked you. He says you are beautiful, and you are perfect. It does not matter anything in your past, because He forgives all. He knows all about it and also knows all about your future. He has a plan for you. He is stronger and mightier than any weakness you may have. Picture Jesus in your moment of weakness and in your moment of desperation…picture Jesus. You have to know He loves you and the easiest way to do that is to picture Him. He will fulfill every desire, beyond your wildest dream. He’s all you need. It’s so hard in that moment of weakness, in the moment you want to give in to those fleshly desires, it’s so hard to remember that. But if you can keep His picture, turn your whole mind and picture Jesus and say, “Jesus, I need you.” Jesus is saying back to you: “Mikayla, I love you and I hung the stars for you. You are all that I’ve ever wanted. You are perfect just the way you are.” He wants you to know that, but you have to let him in and let that knowing invade your life.
Edith prayed for Mikayla: “Lord God, I lift up Mikayla right now. I ask that you pour out your love on her and you pour out your abundance. Lord God show her what you look like and show her what she looks like. Lord God just absolutely cover her in your grace and your mercy. I thank you for all the people, everybody in her life that you’re going to send towards her, that’s going to show your love. In Jesus Name, Amen.”
Pray and Believe
Brandon says to Mikayla: pray about it. If you pray about it, and you believe God is there, He will help you to get through these feelings. Brandon shared Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He says, God doesn’t want any of His children going through something like that and so, if you just pray and believe it, the Holy Spirit will come down and help you face those temptations.
Brandon recommends a song to Mikayla called, “Priceless” by the Christian band, For King and Country.
Mikayla, God Loves You Unconditionally
Savannah shares, “God has put it on my heart to tell you, Mikayla, God loves you so unconditionally. These guys will like you one day and the next move on. God’s love will never change for you. He’s never going to one day wake up and say, Oh you did something wrong, I don’t love you anymore. No, He is always going to love you. He loved us first and that’s why we love him. Don’t give up! Get connected with a church. I pray you hold on and know you have a whole bunch of people supporting you and praying for you. You’re really not alone through this.”
What advice would you give Mikayla?
I’m so proud of Mikayla for calling in. Edith, Brandon, and Savannah all shared with her about the love of God. God does love Mikayla deeply and loves you too. Do you have insight into how Mikayla can deal with her self-worth issues? Have you been in a similar place as she is…looking for your self-worth in someone or something other than God? Please share in the comments below!
Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?
We all deal with self-worth issues. Mikayla’s self-worth issues are leading her down a very destructive path which is why it’s so essential she get help and accountability to stop acting out and turning to guys. They can’t give her the fulfillment she’s looking for. Only God can do that. Through our peer to peer callers’ messages, it’s like the Lord’s putting His arm around her, saying you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to go to a dumpster to find a steak dinner. God is saying to Mikayla, “I’m your Father and I love you. I don’t want you to trash yourself and sin against your own body and mind. I’ve got a man for you and I’m going to get you ready for him.”
God is a God full of grace for Mikayla and for you. His grace is enough for whatever you are going through.
Resources for Self-Worth:
For help identifying self-worth issues and to find ways to stop hating yourself, download our free eBook: Understanding Self-Worth. In this eBook, there’s also: 10 ways to build a healthy respect for yourself and maintain it, 4 things not to do when trying to maintain a healthy self-worth, and there are also ways to help a friend dealing with self-worth issues. We also have Verses of Hope When You Hate Yourself. Also, check out my blogs to help you improve your self-worth:
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.
School pressure can feel overwhelming, especially during midterms and final exams. Multiple classes, multiple assignments, and, of course, the social pressure: everyone wants to feel like they are valued, and that they belong. But the pressure of school stress is not impossible to overcome.
I’ve seen many dedicated students face and overcome school-related stress by making simple adjustments to their habits and their mindsets. If you’re stressed from school, I hope these ideas will encourage you as you try finding greater peace during stressful times at school.
Set Smaller Goals
While some stress definitely comes from external factors, I’ve noticed there are other times I can cause myself stress because my goals themselves are stressful. Here are some things I’ve found helpful that might also ease stress for you at school:
Make goals smaller: Instead of setting just a few big end-of-year goals, set smaller goals to celebrate all the little victories along the way. For example, setting daily goals for practicing your foreign language for 20 minutes will help you feel more confident about homework assignments, and will make it more likely you do well on tests and exams.
Make goals reasonable: If you have struggled all year in chemistry and currently have a C-, it would heap stress on you to strive for an A+ with only half a semester left. Setting a more realistic goal, like moving up half a letter grade, will likely relieve some stress while still giving you something to focus on.
Share your goals: I don’t mean telling everyone, of course. But sharing the goals most important to you with people you trust (like your parents, your teacher, or a guidance counselor), will ensure they are better prepared to help you achieve what you set out to do.
Remember to Rest
Getting adequate rest doesn’t just help you feel better, it makes it easier to maintain focused and stay centered during times of heightened stress.
Be sure you schedule your studying so that you are getting adequate sleep at night, and take rest breaks throughout longer periods of studying to recharge.
Just like limiting study time in general, limiting breaks helps things stay balanced. Try taking 10-15 minute breaks for:
Short walks: Light exercise can keep you energized when your brain needs it most.
Deep breathing: Meditation and breathing exercises help you feel calmer faster in times of heightened stress.
Prayer and reflection: Asking God for help finding peace during times of stress can help you center yourself spiritually, which can help lower mental stress
Reach out for Support
Grades and schoolwork are your responsibility, but that doesn’t mean you’re on your own when it comes to handling stress. You can ask a therapist for help when you feel overwhelmed, or you can let your family know you need a break for some time together.
Teachers, guidance counselors, and people who care about you want you to succeed in school. Don’t feel ashamed about asking for help when you need it.
Sometimes recovering from stress takes extra support, and we are here to help. Talk to a Hope Coach at TheHopeLine for one-on-one help with stress management throughout the school year. You can get through this, and we are here for you.
Is school stress causing you to have panic attacks? Learn grounding techniques to help you with panic attacks here.
