The Most Important Decision You and I Will Ever Make

The most important decision you will ever make is accepting Jesus Christ into your life. In this episode, I discuss the 4 spiritual laws which explain what we need to know in order to make peace with God through His son, Jesus Christ.

Law #1 - God loves you and offers a wonderful plan for your life.

• John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
• John 10: 10b – “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Law #2 - Man is sinful and separated from God; therefore, he cannot know and experience God’s plan for his life.

• Romans 3:23 – “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”
• Romans 6:23 – “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Law #3 - Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin; through Him you can know and experience God’s love and plan for your life.

• Romans 5:8 – “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”
• John 14:6 – “Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Law #4 – We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord then we can know and experience God’s love and plan for our lives. WE MUST RECEIVE CHRIST THROUGH FAITH! It’s a gift from God.

• John 1:12 – “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”
• Ephesians 2: 8 & 9 – “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Receive Christ Through Simple Faith

Receiving Christ involves turning to God, from self, repenting and then trusting God to come into your live, forgive your sins and make you who He wants to you to be.

Have you ever asked Christ to come in your life and meant it? Have you put your faith in Jesus Christ, trusting Him to come into your life to forgive and cleanse you from all unrighteousness? If you haven’t, then now is the time to do it. Here is a prayer you can pray:

Dear Jesus,
I need you! I realize I have rebelled against you. I believe Christ has died on the cross for me and has died for my rebellion, sin, and garbage and has rose again and is alive. God allow Christ to come into my life. In Jesus Name, Amen.
If you prayed that prayer and meant it, and I believe you do, Christ has come into your life!!

Resources For New Believers:

• If you accepted Jesus as your Savior, congratulations!! It’s an exciting day. Learn what comes next and find out more about the decision you just made on our Welcome New Believer page!
• If you still are unsure about accepting Christ in your life or want to know more before praying, you can learn more about God here.

Need to talk to someone about God or how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope! 

If you are feeling brokenhearted, it can be hard to know where to turn. It’s overwhelming to deal with the painful realities that caused the heartbreak, and it can seem like things will never get better. In times like these, we realize that only God can give us true hope and healing, and that His word is full of encouraging verses to heal a broken heart.

God Knows Your Heart Needs Healing

It can feel very isolating when your heart is broken by a painful experience, especially because most heartbreak happens due to a sudden and acute loss, like the death of a loved one, or the end of a close relationship.

The scriptures show us that God cares about our hearts and is near us when we are in pain.

Four Verses to Cling to When Your Heart is Breaking

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  -Psalm 34:18

Do you feel as though your recent heartbreak is crushing your spirit? God is closer to you than you realize, and He can save you from despair as you face your broken heart.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. -Psalm 147:3

God cares for each one-off us and knows the unique ways our hearts have been wounded by a painful experience. Just as a physician treats each patient differently according to their needs, God will help you heal from your heartbreak in exactly the way you need.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners. -Isaiah 61:1

This prophecy from Isaiah was fulfilled in Jesus when he read it in the temple during his ministry. Though He healed many of their physical wounds and diseases to demonstrate His power, His main concern was spiritual healing for all of His beloved creation.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. -Psalm 51:17

This was one of David’s prayers while he repented from grievous sins of adultery and murder. Whether or not you share any responsibility in the situation that broke your heart, you can know that no pain is too great for God to heal, and no situation is too terrible for Him to overcome.

Reaching Out for God

The important thing to remember is that God is close to you, even when it does not feel that way – and all you need to do is reach out for his help. You can do that through prayer, through reading scripture, and through spending time in worship.

If you’re not sure where to start, we can pray with you or connect you with a confidential mentor who can help you navigate your heartbreak and start on a path toward healing. We are here for you, and there is always hope!

Getting over a breakup takes time, but don't give up faith and don't lose hope. Read my blog, Moving On: How to Properly Grieve and Heal After a Breakup. 

It seems like every great romance includes an inevitable heartbreak, but is there any way to prevent it? I wish there was. The fact of the matter is that there is no sure-fire, ironclad, 100% effective way to ensure that you can keep your heart from breaking while you’re dating.

But before you swear off relationships forever, consider that heartbreak, while painful, is not a bad thing. Here’s why.

Relationships Require Vulnerability

“Guard your heart.” You’ve probably heard that one a million times in your dating life, but there is a certain amount of wisdom in that phrase.

It’s not the best idea to open yourself fully to every potential love that comes along. Trust needs to be earned and established over time. Giving free access to your heart and soul cheapens the privilege of truly getting to know someone.

But guarding your heart doesn’t mean keeping it under lock and key. C.S. Lewis said it best in his book The Four Loves:

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

A lack of vulnerability means that we are constantly keeping people at an arm’s length in an effort to preserve our own ego.

Vulnerability demonstrates the willingness to be fully known – for the good parts and the not-so-good – and this can be terrifying even for the most confident people. While this kind of openness invariably puts you at risk of getting hurt, that divine gamble is an essential element in the process of developing a relationship.

Your willingness to be vulnerable, whether it is through opening up about your fears or confessing insecurities, shows a level of trust that must form the bedrock of successful relationships.

People are Fallible

While vulnerability is paramount to healthy relationships, even the most carefully vetted people may hurt us. In some circumstances, you may come to the astonishing realization that the person you thought you were growing closer to is farther away than you ever imagined. The world of relationships is full of people who may hurt you intentionally, but even those with the purest intent will let you down simply because they are human.

In spite of what the movies may preach, Mr. or Ms. Right will let you down – and probably more than once. Maybe even to the point of heartbreak.

Being part of an authentic relationship affords you the honor and the responsibility of truly knowing another person – and this includes their flaws. It’s really just a matter of deciding if those flaws are outweighed by the person’s goodness.

Relationships May Not Satisfy

Ask any married person, no matter how long, and they will tell you that they’ve experienced deep, true loneliness, even after marriage.

We’re often sold the idea that relationships are the key to patching up all the holes left in our heart by loneliness. How could we ever feel unfulfilled when there is another person entirely dedicated to making us feel important and loved?

Hopefully, that question struck you as a bit strange. At the same time, I think if we’re honest with ourselves, a lot of us go into relationships hoping that this will finally be the thing to make us feel whole, attractive, needed, smart, and everything else.

Relationships – familial, friendships, or romantic – are a beautiful part of life. None of us is an island and we do truly need one another, but to allow your self-esteem to be based upon a single relationship places unfair pressure on another person who is, for better or worse, a human being with flaws. Even the strongest relationships can hurt your heart from time to time.

What You Can Do

You are going to get hurt. That’s for sure. But what you do with that hurt is the key.

Like Lewis said, maybe the fear of pain will cause you to lock yourself away and make a fortress of your heart. You may not hurt further, but you run the risk of shutting out those who truly want to know you.

Or maybe you’ll let your pain propel you. Perhaps you’ll let every heartbreak remind you that, while things may not get better, you can get better. Maybe you’ll rest in confidence knowing that every act of vulnerability after heartache displays courage and shows that you are worthy of love, however, and whenever it comes.

Worthy Of Love

I find it is of great comfort to lean on God's love, when imperfect love from other people fails. God's love for you will always remain steadfast.  It never fails. Even when life gets tough, God is still for you. He is waiting for you to turn to him and to see how he is at work in your life.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Even so, God did create us to live in community with other people and to love each other.  So, take the risk and open yourself up.  And if you get hurt, remember, that while working through some of the issues on your own is important, support is also necessary for healing.

If you’re looking for a support network, TheHopeLine’s HopeCoaches are available to help you on your unique journey.

Putting yourself out there in the dating world can be stressful...for more on dating relationships read my blog, The Secret Behind a Healthy Relationship.

My Health or School

“For a few years now, I’ve been really sick. Now, I’ve had a biopsy done on my lymph nodes to see if I possibly have lymphoma. I found out today, that I failed my last class in order to graduate.” ~ Lauren

It all started with Lauren feeling really sick and then being diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Now, Lauren is being tested for lymphoma (a type of cancer). Just today, she found out she failed her last class by 2 points, so she’s not going to be able to graduate and walk across the stage with her class.

She wants to know, should she take a break for a semester and slow down to take a breath? Or should she jump right back in, push through, and take the same class again to hopefully pass this time?

Lauren is a hero! She could have folded up the tent with all her challenges, but she hasn’t. It’d be different if she was out partying, getting drunk, being crazy and acting out but she wasn’t.  She’s persevering in the midst of very hard things and battling this, which is no walk in the park. Let’s get some encouraging messages for Lauren.

Peer to Peer: Messages of Encouragement for Lauren

We asked for you to call in and share hope and encouragement with Lauren. Here are some of your messages!

It's Okay to Take a Break from School

Kaleigh encourages Lauren, “I just want you to know there is hope!” Kaleigh says something with Lauren just resonated with her. You are a strong person. If you need to take a break from school, then that’s okay because you have to take care of yourself.

It’s Not the End of the World if  You Don’t Get to Walk

Leon says one of his friends went through stage 4 prostate cancer in the middle of school. His friend was given a low percentage to get through it and live and he got through it. Leon said, Lauren, you are strong, and you will get through this! Leon has struggled through college. His sophomore year he had to sit down with the dean and was told if he didn’t make a certain GPA he was going to be kicked out of college. Sometimes you are going to fail. It sucks but you have to pick yourself up. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get to walk. If you have to take a semester off to make sure you are healthy; in your heart, you will make the best decision for yourself. If you have to choose health over school, I think you will make the right decision.

Your Health Must Come First

God Bless! Jeremy relates to Lauren’s situation. His 8-year-old daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer. She went through chemotherapy and now has been cancer free for 2 months. He says, your health must come first. You can always go back to school next semester.

Do What You Need to Do

Zinna is dealing with problems with her iron levels. She could die at any time but still goes to school. On top of that, Zinna gets bullied. Zinna says to Lauren, God is here for you and He won’t give you anything you can’t handle. He knows you are strong, and you can handle this. If you need to take a break from school, then do it. We are all here for you!

What advice would you give Lauren?

Have you had health issues which prevented you from doing something or delayed you in your journey? Or have you failed at something and found a way to persevere and overcome? Then would you share your story in the comments below? What you have to say could be the encouragement Lauren, along with others, needs to find hope in their journey.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Lauren is so close to her goal of graduating. She’s just wanting to finish, be able to walk with her class, and start the next phase of her life. Unfortunately, circumstances beyond her control have happened, and her health issues are causing her to make some difficult choices. If she starts back to school immediately, she may not be healthy enough to have the energy to do all that is required of her. Lauren needs to take time off and focus on her health. School will always be there. They have it every semester.

Resources For School Pressures and Stress:

Check out my blogs:

• How to Manage College Stress
• 11 Ways to Make the Most of Your College Experience
• How to Follow Your Dreams
• You can be Twenty-Five Percent Happier

Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.
One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope! 

Psychology Today reports that a recorded six million adults in the U.S. have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Taking into consideration just how common anxiety is among Americans, knowing what to do when experiencing a panic attack can be the key to helping yourself or someone else in a potentially dangerous situation.

What Causes Panic Attacks?

The underlying cause of a panic attack could be a number of things.

Anxiety attacks can be caused by mood disorders like anxiety and depression, extreme stress, abuse of substances (alcohol, nicotine, caffeine), physical health problems, or even as a side-effect of medication.

Even if you don’t have an extensive background in psychology, you’ve probably heard of the “fight or flight” response, your brain’s reaction to danger. This response is similar to what happens in the brain during a panic attack.

According to Scientific American, “When people feel stressed, their sympathetic nervous system typically revs up, releasing energy and preparing the body for action. Then the parasympathetic nervous system steps in, and the body stabilizes to a calmer state. If the parasympathetic nervous system is somehow unable to do its job, a person will remain fired up and may experience the heightened arousal characteristic of a panic attack.”

Essentially, during a panic attack your body is having a heightened response to a perceived threat, resulting in some of the physical symptoms of a panic attack.

Identifying a Panic Attack

To differentiate a panic attack from another health problem, be on the lookout for the following symptoms.

Panic attacks can manifest in different ways for different people, but according to Psychology Today, many of the common symptoms include “fast breathing, severe perspiration, trembling, nausea, dizziness, numbness or tingling, chills or sensations of heat, and increased heart rate . . . extreme fear . . . feelings of disconnection from oneself, loss of control, imminent danger, and a strong desire to flee or avoid the situation.”

It is important to note that some of these symptoms do mirror other health issues like heart attacks or respiratory conditions, so personal medical history should always be taken into consideration when determining whether or not you are experiencing a panic attack.

What to Do

Above and beyond all else, if you are experiencing a panic attack, anxiety, or other problems related to your mental health, seeking help from a counselor or other medical professional is paramount to learning how to manage your symptoms and beginning a journey toward better health.

In the meantime, there are some actions that professionals suggest you take immediately if you are experiencing a panic attack.
One of the first steps you can take to help alleviate panic is to simply recognize that you are experiencing an anxiety attack.

Some professionals suggest that by reminding yourself that this is a panic attack rather than a heart attack or death, your mind is calmed and able to understand that the episode will be over soon.

Grounding yourself is another helpful method to quelling panic. Many anxiety sufferers feel a lack of connection with the physical world during episodes of panic because they are caught up in mental distress. Engaging the physical body can help you feel more grounded and in control of yourself during these episodes. Psychology Today suggests a number of physical practices to help anxiety sufferers reconnect with the physical world. Focused breathing techniques, visually fixating on a stable object, or even holding an ice cube can help to bring your mind back into the physical world and alleviate a panic attack in the moment.

If you’ve experienced what you believe is a panic attack, these methods can be helpful for mitigating the situation as it arises and finding calm. Even so, consulting a licensed professional is necessary to taking steps toward diagnosis of any sort of mood disorder.

By visiting a therapist or counselor, you can discuss your specific anxiety symptoms and they can help tailor your treatment methods to your specific needs.

For more information, or to talk with a HopeCoach about your next steps, check out TheHopeLine’s resources to begin the journey toward wellness and hope.

To learn more about God’s love for you and his desire to bring peace into your life, check out these resources.

Find answers to your questions about anxiety at our anxiety page that is full of blogs, ebooks, podcasts, stories and more.

Are You Single? It's Really OK.

It seems that everywhere you look, from television and movies to advertising, the message is constantly being sent that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be complete. This message is a lie. Just ten minutes listening to popular music and it's obvious we are a society obsessed with romantic relationships.

The I've got to be in love syndrome is the most popular topic people call my radio show about. Very few calls or comments I receive from teenagers and young adults ever speak to the benefits of not dating. I often have to tell people, "Don't worry, if you don't have a bf/gf right now, you won't die." While there are definitely some benefits of being in a relationship, there are certainly just as many to not dating.

Delaney commented to me about being happy without a guy in her life: I have great friends that are always there for me and always know how to make me happy, and I have a wonderful family that loves and cares for me as I do for them. Life isn't always about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I think life is about living your life to the fullest without having a guy or girl.

When I tried dating, it brought a whole lot of drama in my life that I have never experienced, and it made my life a lot harder than I think it needed to be. It seems to me like having a guy in your life makes everything else harder to accomplish. As of right now, I'm loving the single life and hanging with friends and not worrying about boys and drama!
I have been thinking a lot lately about the benefits of not dating. Here are just a few of the many benefits a person can enjoy while being single.

4 Benefits to Being Single

A dating relationship is extremely time-consuming. Right?

While this may sound well and good, it does take away from the time you may need to really get to know yourself, God and those around you.

Get To Know Yourself

What do you like? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What do you enjoy spending your time doing when no one is around? Being single gives you time to develop yourself. It will increase your confidence, which is considerably more attractive than always needing to have a bf/gf at your side. I think if more people would spend their time developing into the right person, instead of always looking to find the right person, they'd be much happier.

Riah commented to me just this week how she doesn't need to have somebody say "I love you" for her to be happy: If you are happy with yourself then you will be content if you don't have somebody, and you will still hold your head up and walk with confidence. Some advantages are that you have a calm, peaceful life. It's a lot less worry-some, and you will probably have a lot more time on your hands to do something that can benefit you and your life.

Do Things that Make you Happy

She's right. When you are not dating, you have much more time on your hands to do the things you really want to do. If you want to do nothing, or read a book or watch a movie, or hang out with friends, you can do it. Take advantage of your singleness to get to know a lot of different kinds of people. Find ways to be the best friend you can to those you care about the most.

Have a lot of different kinds of experiences. This will help you in the long run know better what to look for in a career, or even a mate.

Avoid the Drama of Bad Relationships

Many people get into relationships just to be in a relationship. When you are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, a lot of unnecessary drama and heartache occurs. Bad relationships are time-consuming, emotionally draining and just plain too much work.

With all this being said, if you are currently in a bad relationship...one where you don't feel free or fulfilled, get out. The sky will not fall. The sun will still rise in the morning. Relationships aren't supposed to feel like you're in prison.

Get To Know God

The most important relationship you will ever have in your life is a relationship with God.  When you're single, you have more time to explore who God is and how much He loves you. Use this time to figure out what you believe and grow in your faith.

God has a great plan for your life, including who you may date in the future if you follow him.  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Use the extra time you have to develop a meaningful relationship with your creator and the lover of your soul. You can spend time reading the Bible, praying and even finding a church.

Enjoy this Season

Being single is something to cherish, not to be afraid of. Being in a relationship is something to value, as well. But don't feel like you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy. Get to know yourself and God, and you can be happy, whether in a relationship with a bf/gf or not.

Fighting with your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or family member can be devastating. The wrong words said, or actions taken in anger can often make you feel as though a relationship is damaged beyond repair. If you have been through other trauma before fighting with your loved one, you may wonder if your relationship is abusive or could be heading in that direction.

Examining the similarities and differences between anger and abuse often gives people clarity and helps them feel more confident when making decisions in their challenging relationships.

Comparing Anger and Abuse

Anger and abuse seem similar or identical to many of us because an abuser is often angry (whereas an angry person isn’t always abusive). Many of the emotions that arise when someone is angry may be harsh and the pain it causes is what leaves many wondering if they have been or will be abused.

But there are some key differences...

Anger can be motivated by a number of factors. Maybe you’re fighting with your girlfriend because she feels mistreated or like she hasn’t been heard. Maybe you forgot an important day, or broke a promise, and now your family member or friend is upset.

Whatever their reasoning, if the person who is angry doesn’t show a pattern of cruelty, it’s unlikely the relationship will become abusive.

Abuse, on the other hand, is built on controlling and manipulating behaviors. It is unjust, unfair, unkind, and cruel, and it causes you serious physical, emotional, or psychological pain. In an abusive or toxic relationship, the person raging doesn’t take responsibility for any relationship problems. Instead, they blame and punish you with their words or actions. If being around your family member, girlfriend, or boyfriend scares you or damages your self-worth, you are in a toxic relationship that may become abusive.

If you’re not sure, talk to a therapist or mentor about your loved one’s anger issues. Having a sounding board you trust can help you get to the root of the problem so you know what to do next.

Seeking spiritual encouragement while dealing with toxic relationships is also helpful. People in your faith community can remind you of God’s love in the face of any relationship challenge.

Protect Yourself from Toxic Anger

If you are confident that your boyfriend, girlfriend, family member, or friend doesn’t want to hurt you or control you, it is likely they just need to work on their communication skills and anger management. Let them know you still love them, do your best to forgive them, and hold them accountable for making positive changes so they can manage their anger in a healthier way.

If you’re in a close or intimate relationship with the person you’re fighting with, consider going to a counseling session with them to show your support as they make a plan to understand what triggers their anger. With time, someone committed to healthy anger management will be able to express it more constructively.

If you feel unsafe or fearful of the person you’re fighting with, reach out right away. We are here to listen, pray with you, and offer guidance for finding emotional peace and healing after abuse.

Send us an email or chat as soon as possible, and we will help you break free from your toxic relationship without judgment.

Want to examine your relationship more? Read my blog, 8 Signs Your Dating Relationship is Unhealthy.

A Marriage in Tatters

Jeffery’s wife cheated on him right around the time they were going to be celebrating 5 years together. She confessed to Jeffrey, said she was upset and saddened by her actions, so they decided to try to work out their relationship. Then 6 months later, she had another affair with a guy 15 years older than her. She moved in with the guy, got pregnant by him, and had an abortion.

Just recently, she has decided she wants to come home to be with Jeffery. Jeffery feels conflicted. He knows she has nowhere else to go. Is that why she wants to move back in with him just because she has nowhere else to go? And Jeffery feels emotionally conflicted over the abortion she had. He would have taken care of the baby, even though it wasn’t his. Now, his wife said she is leaving the other guy to move back home with Jeffery, but then she went back to the other guy for another week. Should Jeffery take her back?

Peer to Peer: A Rock-Solid Message of Advice for Jeffery

Joanna called in with rock-solid, life-changing advice for Jeffery. She had great insight!

Share Your Story About Your Cheating Wife

Joanna apologized on behalf of women and said, “It’s terrible what you are going through, and I feel very heartbroken for you.” Joanna suggested to first pay attention to what’s best for Jeffery’s children and said serving the Lord should come before any romantic relationship. Joanna points out that Jeffery’s wife betrayed him twice and she’s still living with the other guy even though she’s said she wants to come home. Joanna said, if she really wanted to be with Jeffrey she wouldn’t be staying with the other guy and continuing a sexual relationship with him. She would have found somewhere else to stay like a friend’s house or her parents.

Joanna said Jeffrey’s wife seems like she’s into survival sex, where a woman pairs up with a man to get a roof over her head and get other things she wants. Then when she gets bored or someone else who looks better comes along, they’ll jump to that guy.

Joanna recommends to Jeffery, if his wife really wants to make their relationship work, she should live with her family or a female friend and she should not have any sexual activity for one year. Then after one year, if it still seems like the right thing to do, they can have a vowel renewal and she can move back in with Jeffery.

His Wife’s Actions and Words Don’t Add Up

Jeffery’s wife needs God’s help. No one really turns to God unless they see themselves and their situation the way God does. All of us would like to believe we aren’t so bad, and we don’t mess up as much as others. But the Bible says this in Isaiah 64:6, “We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind.”

Joanna lovingly spoke the truth about Jeffery’s wife, she chose to betray him twice. Her actions don’t add up to what she’s saying.

She’s saying she wants to move back home but she’s still staying with the other guy. Jeffery’s wife went against her vows of marriage and what God had ordained for marriage. If she was repentant she wouldn’t be living in sin anymore.

Joanna talked about how she thought Jeffery’s wife was into survival sex is when women pair up with men to put food on the table and a roof over their head. Then use that man until someone better comes along and they jump.

Jeffery’s wife needs a complete turnaround. I like what Joanna suggested for Jeffery’s wife. She needs to spend a year with family or a female friend and not be in any relationship and refrain from sex. She does need to honor Jeffery and the children and show them she wants to be committed to them.

What advice would you give Jeffery?

What would you do if you were in Jeffery’s situation? Would you take her back? Would you make her wait a year to move back home? If you have any advice or words of encouragement for Jeffery, please share in the comments!

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Being cheated on is a complete violation of trust. Jeffrey was willing to work on his marriage after the first time his wife cheated but now it’s happened again. It’s no wonder, he’s wondering if she really wants to come home to be with him. He must wonder if he lets her come back home, will she cheat on him again?

If you’ve been cheated on, whether it’s once, twice or multiple times, you need some time to heal. It’s important not to jump right back into the same relationship or into a new one. There needs to be time for healing and a time for self-care. If you are wanting to get back together, there needs to be time to make sure both of you want to recommit to each other. There’s no point in getting back together in a relationship if both parties aren’t fully committed to repairing the relationship, rebuilding trust, and giving everything to make it work.

Resources for Cheating:

• Take a look at my eBook: Understanding Cheating in Relationships.
• Check out my blogs:
  • 15 Signs Your BF-GF May Be Cheating On You
  • Your BF/GF is Cheating on You…Now What?
  • 5 Life-Changing Steps for the Cheater
  • Why Did Your Guy Cheat on You?
  • Moving On From A Cheating Boyfriend – 6 Things NOT To Do
• Need to talk to someone about how you are feeling, then: Chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine.

One last thing,
My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!

Living with a parent who is addicted to drugs, alcohol, or other harmful substances and behaviors is hard – and it doesn’t get easier as we get older. If you’re one of the estimated 17 million people who has grown up with an addicted parent, you’re probably angry about their addiction and the ways it has impacted your life. Feelings of anger and frustration are normal if your parent has ever:

• Made you feel responsible for their addiction
• Blamed your other parent for the circumstances leading to their substance abuse
• Physically, verbally, or emotionally abused you or someone else in your family while high or intoxicated
• Used drugs or alcohol instead of meeting your physical or emotional needs
• Withheld love or affection from you
• Tried to manipulate you to help them engage in their substance abuse
• Made you feel guilty for saying no or standing up for yourself after their hurtful behavior

These behaviors will have a profound and prolonged negative impact on you. You may find yourself acting out at school or at home, even though you know it’s wrong or inappropriate. You may be afraid of other adults or have trouble opening up about your emotions to others who are close to you. This is likely to cause trust issues when dating or pursuing new relationships.

These negative effects will be compounded if your parent doesn’t see their addiction as a problem, is not interested in getting help, has legal trouble because of their addiction, or gets your other parent (or someone else living with you) involved with drugs, alcohol, or addictive behavior as a way to ensure they can keep using.

Anger About Addiction is Natural

Anger is one of the most common emotions that take root in adult children of alcoholics and addicts – and it’s understandable. No one likes being hurt repeatedly by their parent, who is supposed to love and care for them unconditionally. It’s important to not bottled up these feelings when grappling with them. Talking about a parent’s addiction with someone who will not judge you or your parent is a healthy way to practice anger management. A mentor, prayer partner, therapist, or support group can give you a safe space to express yourself to trustworthy people. They can give you the tools and guidance to let go of anger before it takes over.

Resentment About Addiction Harms You Most

Anger over injustice (about how an alcoholic parent or parent with drug addiction treats you) is something you can live with and learn from. But it’s important to make sure your anger doesn’t turn into resentment over time. Resentment about addiction does more harm than good. Since your parent is unlikely to understand the full impact of their behavior if they have not gotten help for their addiction, you (and not your parent) are the one who is most hurt by your feelings of resentment. It ends up shutting you down emotionally, which robs other relationships of the joy and fulfillment you’d otherwise get from them,

How to Curb Unhealthy Anger About Addiction

While anger about addiction doesn’t go away after a few therapy sessions, learning some healthy practices can help you let go of toxic anger and view things in a healthier way.

• Compassion: Your parent may be addicted, but there is more to them than this behavior and the negative ways in which their mind, body, and emotions have been harmed by their addiction. Learning how to separate your parent as a person from their addiction as an issue or illness can help you cultivate compassion for them that will keep you from becoming bitter and resentful.
• Distance: Keeping a healthy distance from your parent is okay and appropriate. Spending time with other friends and family ensures you have a safe place to go during a difficult time at home. Not engaging in conversations, you know will make you angry with your parent can be another effective way to set better boundaries and keep unhealthy anger from taking control.
• Connection: Not every conversation or activity should center around your parent and addressing their addiction. Finding things to do that you enjoy (taking walks, visiting friends, creating art, and so on) is a great way to get you out of a stressful environment, and increase your feeling of connection.

Your parent’s addiction does not define you or your worth. We’ve seen many young people and adults who grew up with an addict or alcoholic who now live happy, productive lives, and make progress in their family relationships. While it can be hard to remain faithful when living with an addicted parent, God cares about your family. You are not alone, and you’ve found the right place for guidance and support. Access live chat, email mentors, and find more resources to get help with family addiction.

Do you feel abandoned by your parent's addiction? Read my blog, Dealing with Abandonment.