Above All Else, Guard Your Heart...

In this episode:

Do you have a relationship sucking the life and energy from you? Maybe you don’t even realize your relationship is dragging you down. If it’s poisoning your self-esteem and happiness then chances are it’s extremely toxic, which means…time to get out! In this episode, I talk with Ashely about all the toxic, hurtful things her messed up boyfriend does to her. Then I talk with Kelsea, who’s boyfriend is sucking the life out of her causing her to be confused and miserable. Lastly, I talk with Jess. He and his girlfriend keep going back to the destructive parts of their relationship causing confusion, hurt and chaos in their relationship.

Hurt Repeatedly

Ashley’s messed up boyfriend has hurt her repeatedly. He’s done many terrible things, including:

• Bringing way too much drama to the relationship
• Stolen money from Ashley
• Left her all alone
• Lied to her countless times
• Doesn’t take responsibility for his children
• Repeatedly breaks his promises

He’s also a player, a user, an abuser and is a guy lacking a conscience. As you can tell, there is no question, Ashley is in a toxic relationship. The longer she stays in it, the more difficult it will be for her to end it.

The good news is Ashley has friends who will support her. She’s not alone. God is with her to help her do what she must do. As scary as it is, Ashley should have a restraining order put on him, and break off all contact, even if it means she must move away.

But as long as she gives him hope, he’ll hang around, trying all of his tricks again and again. Ashley needs to cut off all ties with him, no matter what.

Confused and Miserable

Kelsea’s been dating a guy for 2 years. He’s caused Kelsea to be confused and miserable because:

• He like many other toxic people have trust issues.
• He is talking to another girl. He even goes to this girl’s apartment alone. He’s told this other girl he has feelings for her and sends her inappropriate texts and pictures.
• He lies to Kelsea repeatedly.
• He brings a lot of terrible drama to her life. She finds herself sitting in the counselor’s office at school, crying her eyes out.

It’s all so sad! Kelsea’s boyfriend is toxic and he’s sucking the life right out of her, causing her to be miserable, and confused. So, even though Kelsea is beginning to recognize the cruel things he has done to her, she feels he still loves her. Why would she believe that? No one else does. Everybody else knows he’s a loser but she keeps telling herself lies about him. She fears if she ever faces the truth, she will have to leave him and to her that would be the ultimate heartbreak. She would rather have a crushing, toxic relationship than no relationship at all.

It Takes Courage to Leave a Toxic Relationship

Sometimes when people are single, they feel like they’ve failed. But really, they are just without a boyfriend or girlfriend at the time. It’s not forever. They tie their self-worth to if they have a relationship with someone. Their whole self-esteem cries out, “Better to be in a toxic relationship than be single.” That, of course, is a lie.

It takes far more courage to leave a toxic relationship and be single and healthy than to stay in the toxic relationship. There will always be people to date, but the question is, who is this person? Am I growing when I’m with them? Am I just going to plow into another relationship unprotected and clamoring to meet needs the other person can’t meet?

Mixed Signals and Obsession

Jess and his girlfriend have drama and chaos in their relationship. They are sleeping together causing confusion and hurt. They find themselves going back to the destructive part of their relationship.

His girlfriend’s hurting him by acting like she loves him again and then breaks it off. This is not healthy. There’s too much confusion with her mixed signals and his obsession to be with her. Their relationship is toxic.

If you don’t break off a toxic relationship, you are feeding it, making matters worse.  Toxic relationships never die on their own.

Someone has to put an end to the whole thing and that’s never easy. But in the future, you’ll be able to look back and say why did it take so long for me to end it?

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

The Bible commands we are to guard our hearts, but few people really do. Most don’t stop to ask the hard questions or show a willingness to even consider who the other person is, or whether or not they bring toxicity with them. People will always pay a price when they jump into a relationship without first committing to guard their heart.

The Bible in Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” God says for us to guard our hearts above all things. That means YOU need to guard your own heart, no one else will do it for you.

If you are in a toxic relationship, it’s not too late for you to start to guard your heart. It’s time to break off ties with someone who is only bringing you pain and heartache. Then ask God to heal your brokenness and commit to guarding your heart. Ask God for wisdom to do all of this. as Jesus said, “Be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16.

Resources for Identifying a Toxic Relationship:

• Check out my eBook: Understanding Dating.
• Check out my blogs: The Toxic Poison of Jealousy, How to Know It’s Really Love, How to Spot a Toxic Friend, What All Relationships Need to Survive, and How to Handle Mixed Signals.
• Check out these stories of hope from people who have struggled in their relationship: Relationship Issues, and My Relationship, Depression and Then Hope
• Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
• Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the ThePrayerZone.com and check it out.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!
Dawson

In my blog, "How to Quit Cutting for Good", I talked about 3 alternative coping strategies for self-harm: Talk it out, wake up to your actual feelings, and seek God. 

Once you decide you're committed to stop cutting, you will find out what a struggle it is to go sober and stay free from this horrible addiction.  Even as you are beginning to recover, you still will feel the cravings to cut again. You are going to need to be prepared to know how to deal with those powerful urges. Here are some practical ideas to help you or someone you know be set free.

Stop feeding the cutting monster - wait it out

Every urge you have to cut will go away in time, but only if you don't act on it. Each time you act on your urge to cut, you're making that urge stronger kind of like feeding a monster. Each time you feed the addiction, the more likely you will feel the urge to cut the next time you feel the same emotional pressure. The more you stand against the urge, without giving in, the more your urges will decrease.

Distract yourself from the desire to cut

One of the best ways to stop cutting is by distracting yourself with someone or something else. This will allow the moment to pass when you're feeling the deep cravings to cut and get your mind off of it. It's impossible for your mind to think about two things at the exact same time. Here are some ideas on how to do this.

1. Call a friend or meet them in person. Talk about what's comfortable for you. The key is to keep talking.
2. Take a shower. This will help invigorate your body so physically it too is distracted. (Make sure there are no razors in the shower).
3. Exercise Walk, run, ride your bike, climb, swim, do yoga, etc. While you are exercising, your mind is more likely to think about something other than cutting.
4. Play with a pet. Take your dog for a walk.
5. Watch television or a non-violent, healthy movie.
6. Make yourself a sandwich, drink a glass of water or a cup of hot chocolate.
7. Listen to positive music. It will definitely help to change your mood.
8. Write in your journal. Learn to express your feelings through writing.
9. Create art or some kind of creative hobby.
10. Volunteer somewhere like a nursing home, or a hospital. In fact, getting a job will help as well. Some people cut out of sheer boredom.

Natalia put it this way: I still fight the urges, but the way I deal with it is by writing in my journal or talking to my best friend and boyfriend who are currently helping me through this.

The point is: Find something else to do. If none of these ideas are possible at the moment, try finding a substitute for the cutting sensation.

1. Rub an ice cube on your skin, instead of cutting.
2. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and snap it when you feel the urge.
3. Draw on your skin with a red marker or food coloring in the place you would normally cut.
4. Put temporary tattoos in the places you have the urge to cut.

Angel said rubber bands have helped her. I've learned that snapping them against your wrist takes away a little bit of the amount to want to cut yourself. Ali said the key for her was she needed something physical to feel like she was still alive, that she was OK. So, I mark a little pink heart on my calendar for every day I don't cut...and believe it or not it helps. Help is possible and stopping is realistic.

Tell your story

The biggest problem with a cutting addiction is it forces you to focus on how YOU are feeling.  Stop thinking about yourself so much and focus on other cutters who need your help.  The more you can reach out to others, encouraging them to find better ways to express their feelings, the better you will be able to resist your own urges. Courtney said: I'm proud to be able to tell people my story of overcoming my self-destructive behavior. Every day is a struggle, but I always choose to find hope in the darkest situations and fight the urge.

Think About your Future without Cutting and Self-Harm

You have an incredible life ahead of you, filled with many, many years of potential joy and time with people you love, and who love you as well. Think about what you'd like your life to look like in 5, 10, 15 years, and start taking steps to move forward in that direction.

Abby is 25, and she sees hope in her future: If I don't stop cutting, then a lot of the things I want aren't going to work out the way I dream they will.

Cyndal said: I thought about when I have children, and they see the cuts and scars on my arms, and they ask me, 'Mommy what are those booboos on your arms?' That really made me think, 'WOW, what would I tell my children?' And it made me cry for a really long time"

I want to encourage you to be strong like Amanda. She said: It's a challenge every day, but I am fighting to not cut, because I know that my life can be really awesome, and cutting does not fit into that picture. When you feel your emotions building up, remember you now have alternatives to self-harm. Get self-help by talking to someone who cares.

Be strong. There is tremendous hope for you!

LIFE.

It can be really, stinkin’ hard sometimes, right?

When your situation gets really tough…

You just can’t find happiness anymore…

Everything seems to be going against you…

What keeps you from just giving up when everything feels hopeless?

HOPE.

Have you ever wondered, "How Can I Find Hope?"

Hope keeps you hanging on because it allows you to believe that:

• Things will get better.
• You have a purpose to fulfill.
• There is a plan for your life.
• You are cared for

But we would like to suggest that people are losing hope at alarming rates.

TheHopeLine which has been around for over 30 years, has seen trends.  While relationship issues with friends, dating, and parents used to be the number one thing people wanted to talk about…now it is self-worth issues, suicide, and depression.

The Centers for Disease Control recently reported that suicide rates have increased after a two-year decline in 2019 and 2020. The number of suicides in 2021 is still lower than the all-time high of 48,344 in 2018, however, national suicide rates are on the rise again. That suggests that hopelessness, depression, and suicidal thoughts could be coming together to cause big mental health challenges.

5 Reasons for Losing Hope

In my many conversations with teenagers and young adults, I hear variations of these five reasons over and over. I believe these statements capture some of the leading causes of hopelessness:

1. They have no experience receiving unconditional love which causes feelings of worthlessness.
2. Their identities are tied to changing circumstances and not a secure source, so they don't know who they are.
3. Life is meaningless. They can't find a purpose.
4. Intense feelings of being alone, rejected, abandoned…no one cares.
5. Inability to find anything to look forward to.

What Causes People to Feel so Lost?

Let’s consider the prevailing way people view the world in this moment. It’s often referred to as the postmodern worldview.
Perhaps this worldview can best be summarized with, “You do you."

In some ways – I appreciate this saying – it allows people to be accepted for who they are without being judged harshly. “Be yourself.” There’s nothing wrong with that.

But on a deeper level, the message is, “You can believe whatever makes the most sense to you based on your life circumstances. There is no one truth.  It’s all relative to your experiences.”

While this may sound good on the surface, the reality is it leaves a lot of people in a state of chaos.

Because what is true anymore and, well, what does work best for you?

When we are unstable without something solid to hold onto, we start to lose our sense of self, our sense of purpose, our sense HOPE.

How to Find Hope, where do you start?

There are over 4,200 belief systems in the world today.

If any of them can be true…where do you start?

As you search for your own truth, you realize you are completely untethered. There is nothing to anchor yourself to.  Especially if what you believe depends upon your circumstances because circumstances change. People in your life change.  Everything is constantly moving.  So, if you are tying your identity and your belief system to your circumstances (even if that belief system is that you don’t believe in anything), what happens when your circumstances change?

You once again feel lost. Untethered.

So, let me ask you a question that the postmodern worldview would appreciate…

How’s life working for YOU right now? How is what you believe or don’t believe working for you? Is it giving you hope? Do you feel secure? Is it helping you feel loved and cherished?

What Give Us Hope?

To match the 5 reasons people are losing hope that I mentioned above, I believe we have hope when:

1. We feel loved and valued.

2. We know who we are without a doubt.

3. Our purpose is clear.

4. We don’t feel abandoned.

5. Our future is bright.

How can we have this security?

Only one thing has consistently provided all of these things for me and that is my Christian faith. I am not talking about religion, but about my relationship with Jesus and my faith in Him.

Now you may decide to stop reading at this point. You may think that I am failing to give you practical advice. To which I say two things:

1. My practical advice for HOPE is to find unconditional love, a secure identity, a purpose, a community and a confident knowledge that your future is secure.

2. The only way I know how to find these things is through my faith. So, I ask you, what kind of person would I be if I have found HOPE and I believe it is the ONE TRUTH that is UNCHANGING, and then I chose NOT to share it with you, would I be showing my genuine care and concern for you?  If I kept this to myself when I believe it is the answer, would that be right?

So, I hope you will keep reading because I really do genuinely care. If you are feeling hopeless, what do you have to lose?

I am going to briefly share how my faith has provided the above 5 things for me and how it gives me HOPE. For further detail, I hope you will download our free eBook, Understanding Hope.

You Are Loved

My faith gives me the hope that I am loved by God. Always and forever. And so are you.

Even when you mess up. God loves you. And He loves you unconditionally. His love for YOU knows no limits or boundaries. It's limitless.

He created you and wants a relationship with you. The God of the universe thinks about you personally and wants the best for you. ALWAYS.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:17-18)

And when bad things happen, that is not what He wants. He still loves you.

In this sinful world, people are going to fail you. Even those who are supposed to love you unconditionally, they are going to let you down sometimes. They aren’t perfect.  And if every time a person fails you, you in turn start to wonder if you are worthy of love. You will lose hope.

That is why knowing you are loved by God is an anchor of hope! You are loved no matter what!

You Have Worth

Do you find yourself tying your identity and your worth to:

What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

As a Christian, your worth and your identity are no longer defined by what the world says about you but rather by who God says you are.

In the Bible He says you are:  Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful  ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known· Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Once you believe in the God of the Bible, these promises are yours to claim.

There is such hope in knowing that nothing can change who God says you are. Your identity is secure.

You have a Purpose

The whole idea that life is a vapid hole without meaning goes away when you are a Christian.

God designed you uniquely and created you in His image. He wouldn’t waste his time if you had no reason for existing.

God created you because he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to love you, and in return, be loved by you. He is a personal God. We are here to praise Him for how great He is! To live lives that honor and glorify our Holy creator.

One way we honor and glorify God is to love others and that is our other purpose. In the Bible, God tells us that the most important things for us to do are to love God with all our hearts and love the people around us just as much as we love ourselves.

Your purpose then is to:  Love God … Love yourself … Love others
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt 22:36-39)

You are Not Alone

God promises to NEVER abandon his children.

God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So, we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5&6)

When you take the leap of faith to believe, there will be times when God feels super close and times he feels farther away, but faith allows you to trust that God’s promises are always true. Even when you feel alone, you recognize that is just a feeling. God is still there.

Years of believing in God have proven this truth to me. There have been many times in my life where my circumstances would have made me feel hopeless and alone, but God has always been my anchor to hold onto in the storms. The knowledge that He is unchanging, unmovable, trustworthy and good allow me to have HOPE.

Your Future is Amazing

Do you ever feel like you have nothing to look forward to? That the same despair you may be feeling now will always be with you?

By putting your faith and trust in Jesus Christ, your life is made new.  You get a fresh start. If you recognize that you have messed up and ask God to forgive you, God will forgive you, no matter what you’ve done. God will pour out mercy, peace, grace, blessings, and love on you. Your future is secure.

And once you have given your life to Christ, you can rest assured that, no matter what you face in this lifetime, you can look forward to eternal life in heaven.

And heaven…well, it’s going to be great!  More beauty than we can comprehend. But even better is the pure joy we will have. There will be no more tears, no more pain, and no more death.

Is This Hope for You?

It is certainly available to you if you choose it.

You can also visit our Get Help page to talk to someone about this.

Here’s the thing…. Christians still have problems. We still make mistakes. Bad things still happen.

Once sin came into the world, God never promised us life would be easy. However, God promises to overcome all of it, to love us always, and to never leave us.

Read this and see if you relate:

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom.

That’s from the Bible – nothing much has changed in human feelings over thousands of years.  Here is what the writer of that passage went on to say.

But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. (Lamentations 3:19-26 MSG)

God provided hope to people then and still does today!

If you or a friend need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, for free confidential, 24/7 help. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world. For additional help, please visit the suicide prevention resource page.

Anxiety Is Real and Can Be Overwhelming

We all get nervous, worried, stressed, and fearful from time to time. For example, when speaking in public, going through a financial hardship, or when having trouble in a difficult relationship.

Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about a looming event or something with an uncertain outcome. Having some anxiety is normal but for others, it becomes so frequent, and forceful, it takes over their lives and affects their ability to function. In this episode, I talk with Iva, Allison, and Matthew, each of them have had high levels of anxiety.

A Deep Plunge into Anxiety

Iva is dealing with an anxiety issue. He has no idea why he’s anxious. He’s taken a deep plunge into anxiety and feels there is no way out. He’ll be in class and for no apparent reason will start sweating, shaking and can’t breathe. Then has to lay down in the nurse’s office until he feels better. He doesn’t understand where the anxiety is coming from.

Iva is not alone, there are many people who have serious anxiety issues, 18% of all Americans suffer from anxiety. Many have no idea why they have such anxious feelings, which alone could make one feel even more turmoil. They usually don’t have much patience and understandably so. The anxiety can be so intense, they want relief and they want it now.

Any person who is struggling with anxiety, needs encouragement and support from others, who will empathize and pray with them as they face their daily battles. And walk with them through their own personal nightmares.

God Can Give Us a Deep Sense of Peace

God can give us a deep sense of peace as we work through our issues. God says more than just, “Don’t be anxious,” or “Get over it,” but tells us our prayers and petitions are the keys to opening the door of overcoming our anxiety. The apostle Paul wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

I have high hopes for Iva, in spite of his struggle, he has not given up. His parents love him and support him, even though they don’t know what to do. Knowing they are there for him can be a great help. Truly Iva is tormented. May God show him the way to find the peace that passes all understanding.

Overloaded with Emotional Trauma

Allison has a lot of drama in her life, giving her tons of anxiety. She grew up in a dysfunctional family where her and her father were very close and her mom was jealous of their relationship. Now, her parents are getting divorced and Allison feels it’s her fault.

Allison is way overloaded with emotional trauma. For her to get help, she has to reach out and face the truth. Her anxiety attacks are a secondary issue, as horrendous as they are. They serve as a wake-up call. She must discover the triggers which cause her to spin into these anxiety nightmares.

Allison is coming to realize what some of these triggers are:

• A broken relationship with her mom
• A sense of false guilt and shame about her mom
• Her dysfunction family
• A boyfriend whose violated her trust
• Way overloaded with her jobs
• Her father being gone

She’s carrying too much weight, and she’s crying out for help. There’s only so much medication can do. It can help but it’s not an end-all. She’s going to have to go deeper and deal with her issues, one at a time. As she does that, the load will start to get lighter and she will experience less anxiety.

Suffered from Anxiety Attacks

Matthew has suffered from anxiety attacks and even though at one time he might die. He has no peace about anything. It took away all his energy. Then he discovered where to find strength and rest and he found them in Christ Jesus. He was worried about everything and trying to carry everything on his shoulders. He’s learned to give it all over to God. From time to time, he still gets nervous but it’s been years since his last anxiety attack.

Finding Peace

Matthew has found his personal peace with Jesus Christ. With Christ’s love and power, he’s able to help others deal with their anxieties. He still struggles from time to time but nothing like it once was. Jesus explained what Matthew needed to do. He said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

God can give us a deep sense of peace as we work through our issues. God says more than just, “Don’t be anxious,” or “Get over it,” He tells us our prayers and petitions are the keys to opening the door of overcoming our anxiety

Resources for Anxiety:

• Check out my eBook: Understanding Anxiety.
• Check out my blogs: How to Deal with Anxiety, You Can’t Just Toughen Up, How to Overcome Social Anxiety, How To Find Sanity In An Insane World, and Mental Illness is Not Mental Weakness.
• Check out these stories of hope from people who have struggled with anxiety: She Struggled with Cutting and Anxiety, Megan’s Struggle with Anxiety Disorder, My Social Fear, and Madylon’s Story: My Life Has Been an Emotional Roller Coaster.
• Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
• Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to TheHopeLine Prayer and check it out.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, and everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

You Can Turn Away from Compulsive Lying

In This Episode:

Since mankind began, lying has been a tragic part of our lives. So awful is it, so terrible is its consequences, God forbids it in the 10 commandments. He said, do not lie (Leviticus 19:11). And in Proverbs 12:22, God spoke again and said, “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD.” Yet, all of us have told lies and at some time or another lived a lie.

The more we speak truth, the happier we will be. Yet sadly some people are compulsive liars. A compulsive liar is someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small.

For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Nonetheless a compulsive liar suffers greatly.

Take Hunter for example, he said, "I can't stop lying…even about stupid things. It breaks my mom's heart that I keep lying to her. I hate that I'm doing this to her, and I hate that I do it. I feel like I am going to earn a reputation as a liar and that's the last thing I want. I hate myself.” Hunter needs a miracle in his life. His lying is destroying him, just as lying is interfering in 3 other people’s lives whom I spoke with. I talked with Lee, Jason, and Ellie, who in one way or another are caught up in the world of lying

Trying to Come Out of the Liar’s Closet

Lee has a compulsive lying problem and has been dealing with it for 10 years. She tried to get some help from a counselor but once she admitted her problem, she felt judged and second-guessed.

Lee is uncomfortable and angry. She’s trying to come out of the liar’s closet. She’s letting the world know about her dirty little secret, that she is a compulsive liar.

Lying has become part of Lee’s lifestyle for at least 10 years now. The habit isn’t going to go away just because she wants it to. It takes at least 66 days to change a habit. That’s a long time when you’re an addicted liar. She’s now coming to grips with what it will cost her to get free. It won’t be easy. Lying has become a part of her life. She uses it whenever she wants or needs to. Most of the time she lies just to lie, when telling the truth would be much easier.

Living in Your Own Personal Hell

One of the major consequences Lee must face is knowing no one believes her anymore. Her friends and family can’t trust her, and they deeply resent her. No one likes to be played or lied to, but the compulsive liar is playing people most of the time.

Lee has dug a big hole. She lives in her own personal hell. Lying has provided a place, where she can be in charge of her own reality. But when caught, unveils her rage about her situation. Lee is like a trapped animal, she’s angry and will blame anybody anywhere, except herself. She refuses to take responsibility for her deep, troubling issues.

My prayers are with Lee, I feel sorry she’s in such a predicament. But with God’s help, she can break out of 10 years of compulsive lying. She has her work cut out for her, it will be painful, but there is still light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s all pray, she will succeed.

Wherever You Go, You Take Your Issues with You

Jason moved to try to get away from his troubles, but his lying issue followed him. He has been trying to make a U-turn but no one believes anything he says.

I like Jason but he easily cons himself. He moved away from his hometown, thinking that would help him but he doesn’t get it. The truth is wherever Jason goes, he takes his issues with him. Changing locations won’t cure lying.

Jason is caught up in the old lying trap. He’s living a wild lifestyle but wants to cover it up. He has to tell lies to do that. But then he has to tell lies to cover the lies. He’s exhausted, partying away and continually lying to cover it up. He’s living a lie and his lies are killing him.

Time to Come Clean and Face Up to the Lies

Now, it’s time for him to come clean with his brother and sister-in-law. He thought he’d fooled them but they could smell the alcohol. It’s not easy to confess to the people you’ve lied to because you’ve tried to paint them as fools. So, it takes tremendous amount of humility and courage to face up to what you’ve been doing. Liars are smooth talkers but to confess to others means to set aside their smooth-talking tools to speak the truth and that’s not easy.

Jason doesn’t understand just how deep his love of lying goes. He, like most of us, doesn’t understand how evil his heart really is.

The Bible says, “The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” Jeremiah 17:9

It’s a common mistake we humans make to think our hearts are a great deal better than they really are. The truth of the matter is, we are a mess. To tell the truth to ourselves, about ourselves is one of the most important things we can do. To lie to ourselves and to others is to act like Satan. Jesus was talking to religious leaders of the day who thought they were righteous because of the good works they did. Jesus set them straight. He told them: “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

Good news for Jason, He is starting to tell the truth about himself and that means he’s on his way to freedom.

Are You Buying into Someone’s Lies?

Elli’s boyfriend lies to her all the time about anything and everything. She can’t trust him at all and it’s destroying their relationship. She can’t bring herself to break up with him even though she knows it can never work because he always lies to her.

Relationships Need Trust and Respect

Elli was willing for a long time to buy into her boyfriend’s lies. Why, because he has an awesome personality, is persuasive, and the lies he tells are powerful. She may think they have a great relationship but without trust and respect there isn’t one. A relationship controlled by lies is nothing more than a front. Perhaps if Elli leaves him, it will be a wake-up call and he’ll be forced to examine his own pathetic issues. There is hope for him if he turns away from a life of lying to a life of following Christ.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

All of us in some way in another are liars, none of us are perfect. My hope is whether we have told small or big lies, we will hate it for what it is and what it’s done in ours and other people’s lives. And so, we too will turn away from lying and trust in Christ to help us walk in the truth. Remember, the more you speak truth, the happier you will be!

It’s time to love yourself!

I know for SO, SO many people this is hard.

I’m overwhelmed with the number of messages I receive every week that are full of self-loathing. Here are just a few of the many received JUST. THIS. WEEK.

These messages come from all over the world…there is no country immune to this issue.

I am 13, and I want to kill myself. Nobody cares about me, and I hate myself

I feel so numb all the time.

Am I worth it? does anyone truly love me ?

Life is this huge vapid hole  I don’t see why my life is important.

I hate being me. I’m embarrassed that I am me and wish I could be someone else.

There is no easy, one-step answer here. Deep-rooted issues lie beneath such low self-esteem.

But we need to start somewhere, so today I want to talk about place to begin the journey towards learning to love yourself.  I want to talk about self-care.

But before you can even begin any steps toward self-care, you need to make a choice right now.

Are you worth it?

I can list important steps towards self-care and loving yourself, but first you need to decide that you are worth the effort. If you don’t, you will never take these steps.

The fact that you are reading this, tells me that you WANT to believe you’re worth it.  So let me give you permission to believe it. YOU. ARE. WORTH. LOVING.

I’ll tell you why you are worth loving in a bit, but first let’s talk about self-care.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is any activity that we intentionally do in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others. (PsychCentral.com)

A common misconception about self-care is that it is selfish or indulgent. But self-care is not about pampering yourself, going to the spa or on a shopping spree. “While self-care can include pampering yourself, it’s so much bigger. It’s so much more meaningful and important. ‘Self-care is essential to our survival,’ said Jessica Michaelson, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist and certified coach for those who want to find more joy and meaning in their lives.”

Self-care involves realizing and prioritizing what you need to do to take care of you. It is not selfish, because when you feel good about yourself, you will be able to give back to others and live a life of purpose. And when you live a life of purpose, you will no longer feel like life is a meaningless void where you are just taking up space.

Self-Care is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Self-care will look different for everyone. Taking care of yourself starts with discovering what fills your tank. What helps you refuel? And then making sure you do that.

For some that may be quiet time, while for others it may be time spent with other people. For some it may be dancing it out to your favorite song, and other people may need to watch an hour of their favorite show. What activity makes you happy?

It’s also important to note that another part of self-care may include activities that aren’t always pleasurable. It may involve making that doctors appointment you’ve been avoiding or confronting pain from your past.

While self-care looks different for everyone, there are some universal steps to help you get started:

9 Steps to Self-Care

1. Identify what activity makes you feel good and do it!

No excuses here.  Everybody has something they enjoy doing that makes them feel good. Take a walk, bake a cake, draw/color, roller skate, talk with your grandma. I don’t care what it is. Every week you must do this thing that rejuvenates you. 

2. Add it to your schedule

You need to actively plan to set aside time to do this activity and stick to it. You are worth it. 

3. Just Start

Maybe the first week you don’t give yourself even an hour for your activity. But do something. If your activity is to walk and you only get a five-minute walk in, feel good about accomplishing that and try for more next week. 

4. Take care of yourself physically

• Sleep – most adults need 7 to 8 hours a night.
• Eat well - A healthy diet fuels natural energy and boosts our self-esteem and confidence.
• Exercise - It is as good for our emotional health as our physical health because of the endorphins released. However, in keeping with the self-care principal choose an exercise you like.
• Maintain good hygiene – You’ll just feel better about yourself.

5. Give up what drains you

Are there relationships that zap your energy? Give yourself some distance. Are you constantly connected to your phone…checking e-mails, texts, snap chat, social media? Set your device aside for an hour. Are there certain events you hate attending? Stop going.

Your time, energy, and emotional well-being are valuable and should be used with intention. When you establish boundaries, you reinforce healthy self-esteem.

6. Choose who you spend time with

Look for people who are upbeat, positive, and enjoy life. Get rid of toxic relationships. It is also good to have people in your life who have perhaps faced similar struggles as you and can relate. Support groups can be very helpful.
Celebrate Recovery is a partner organization of ours that offers support to anyone struggling with hurt, pain or addiction of any kind. They are a safe place to find community and freedom from the issues that are controlling your life. You can find a group in your community here: Celebrate Recovery Group Finder

7. Stop Overthinking

If you start to over-think, haul out a journal and write your thoughts down.  Acknowledge what is on your mind. Now that they are written down and your thoughts are captured, you don’t need to dwell on them anymore.

8. Realize Self-care is non-negotiable.

Have the attitude that self-care is a necessity and don’t give it up. It can be easy to put it off or make up reasons you just can’t, but YOU can!

9. Why is Self-Care So Hard for us to do?

According to Jessica Michaelson, Psy.D, many of us don’t know how to practice self-care because "we weren’t taught to pay attention to our inner states — or to trust them. 'Instead, we are taught what we’re ‘supposed’ to think and feel, and try to ignore feelings that we think we ‘shouldn’t’ feel.'

Consider a newborn who cries when they’re hungry. That is an example of self-care, Michaelson said. 'That is sensing your inner state and taking action to get your needs met.' Because when we ignore our needs, over time, we become sick, unhappy and overwhelmed, she said.

Maybe you’re anxious about a certain situation. But you’re ashamed about your nervous feelings, so you pretend they don’t exist. Maybe you’re really upset about something. But you think you should be happy, so you stuff down your sadness. Maybe you really need 9 hours of sleep. But you believe you should be able to function just fine on 6 hours—so that’s what you try to do. Maybe your entire body is saying no to a commitment. But you don’t want to seem rude or impolite, so you say yes."

If you never make an effort to do something about the fact that you don’t like the way you are feeling or take the time to examine why you are feeling that way and consider what you can do to feel better, your emotions will catch up to you and you will start to feel hopeless. 

This reminds me of this famous quote:
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” - Henry Ford
But there is always HOPE.

I told you I would get back to answering the question of why you are worth loving. Here’s what I know. 

Why you are worth loving

Unfortunately, in this selfish, sinful world people will never love us perfectly. Even those who truly love us will let us down at some point. Perhaps you have been let down by someone who was supposed to love you. We are all human and will make mistakes in our relationships. If we put our hope in people, we will be disappointed.

In the Bible it says: “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”  Lamentations 3:21-23

Even when people turn their back on you, God still loves you NO MATTER WHAT. He cares so much for you; he even knows how many hairs you have on your head. He desires to have you know him and to have a relationship with you. 

When you know how God feels about you and what God says about you, the world no longer has the power to define you.

Do you have any idea who you truly are? Are you searching for “the real you”? Get this:

The Real You

You are created in the image of God. You are not random cells thrown together. God designed you to be like Him. He didn’t make a mistake when He created you. You are amazing just the way you are.

The Bible says, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:26-27)

How can someone created in the image of God be worthless?

Your identity is no longer tied to:

• What you achieve · What you look like · Who approves of you · Mistakes of your past

Your worth is defined by who God says you are:

• Chosen ·Accepted ·Treasured ·Beautiful  ·Protected ·Able ·Complete ·Known·Overcomer ·Masterpiece ·Rescued ·Held

Want to read more about what God says about you? Bible Verses for Self-Acceptance When You Hate Yourself

In conclusion…

How do I learn to love myself?

Start with these three things:

1. Decide you are worth taking care of.
2. Practice Self-Care
3. Learn to see yourself as God sees you.

The Adrenaline Rush of Gambling is Overwhelming

In This Episode:

I Like the Rush of Gambling

The love of money is so gripping, it can cause us to wander away from God and lead us into all kinds of trouble, where we have broken hearts with many sorrows. And we don’t just break our own hearts but also those near to us.

In this episode, I speak with Mike, who spent his trust fund money on gambling, money that was intended for his education. I talk with Paris, who hasn’t been to the casino recently but still feels the temptation. And he almost lost his wife because of his gambling addiction. Finally, I speak with David, who is losing friends and family over his addiction and is spending money he doesn’t have, even gambling during his breaks at work.

It can take a while for gamblers to hit the wall so to speak, because most are optimistic by nature, easily fooled by their own reasoning. They think everything is going to work out just fine. They live for the high of winning.

I’m Going to Win Eventually

Gamblers can easily become delusional. They hold beliefs which contradict reality. They reason within themselves, next time I play, I’ll hit the jackpot and everything’s going to be great. Always chasing the big prize, while slipping and sliding into more and more debt.

King Solomon wrote, “Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.” Proverbs 28:19

The gambler is chasing a fantasy of winning big. At some point, the gambler loses his grip on reality. The buzz to the gambler is that winning hand, which will set everything straight. Some addicted gamblers are extremely arrogant and narcissistic. They think people who don’t play are chumps for not having the guts to take a chance of walking away with easy money.

What Gamblers Think…

• The buzz of winning is awesome.
• It’s easy money.
• Winning will bring me massive thrills.
• I’ll win more than I lose.
• Even if I lose, I’ll win next time.
• Seeking the great thrill is an awesome escape.
• I’m not breaking the law.
• Everybody gambles.
• I’m smarter than the game.
• How can it be so bad, if it feels so right?
• I’m not hurting anyone.
• I’ll figure out how to pay my debt.
• My family will put up with my addiction.
• I control it, it doesn’t control me.
• What I’m doing isn’t bad, it’s not like I’m doing drugs.

What does God say about gambling? Why does he want us to stay far from it?

While God does not say specifically, don’t gamble. He has a lot to say about the sin behind gambling, which is the love of money. A writer on BibleStudyTools.com put it this way: “Most often when people gamble it is because they become addicted to the love of money. A simple game can become a sin when it takes over our minds and hearts and leads us down a road of never being satisfied.”

Gambling adds fuel to the consuming fire of the love of money. Most gamblers end up craving the thrill of chasing the money they love and the rush of winning it. The Bible says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1 Timothy 6:10

Money in and of itself is not evil. It is just a tool. But the love of money is. King Solomon, the wisest man in the Bible said, “Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This too is meaningless.” Ecclesiastes 5:10

And so, the gambler is never satisfied, ever. What the gambler wants is more thrills, more games, and more money. He can never get enough. He is forever craving, wanting even more but never satisfied.

Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” Matthew 6:24

If you love money, you will not love God. If you love God, you will soon despise the love of money. Unless the gambler turns to God and turns away from the love of money, he will forever despise God.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

God uses the consequences of our actions to force us back to Him. God is bigger than your gambling problem, no matter how big it is. It’s not just a matter of telling the world you want to reset but it’s the ongoing hard work it will take to get free. You can change your love of money to a love for God and He will help you if you ask. You can find freedom from your addiction.

Resources for Getting Over a Gambling Addiction:

• Check out my blogs: So Who’s An Addict?, At the End of the Trail, Staying Clean After an Addiction, and Recovery from Addiction
• You can contact the National Council on Problem Gambling by texting, calling, or chatting: https://www.ncpgambling.org/help-treatment/national-helpline-1-800-522-4700/.
• Find a Gamblers Anonymous Meeting near you: https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/locations.
• Consider joining a Celebrate Recovery group. These groups are a safe place for anyone struggling with any kind of hurt, hang-up or habit. Find a support group by state: www.celebraterecovery.com.
• Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.
• Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the TheHopeLine Prayer page and check it out.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope

Getting Over Your Ex is Not Easy

You’ve been in a relationship with someone and now that relationship is over. You have ties to that person which are hard to break.

Sometimes, it’s tremendously harder to move on from them than you thought it would be. If you’re having a hard time moving on from your ex, join me as I speak with Anthony, Jessica, and Keith, each of them trying to get over their ex! You might just find some advice that works for you as well.

I Can’t Stop Thinking About Her

Anthony’s ex-girlfriend told his current girlfriend he was cheating on her with her (his ex).  His girlfriend believed his ex, so they decided to break it off and just be friends. But now, Anthony can’t stop thinking about her.

Anthony thought his relationship with his girlfriend was much stronger than it turned out to be. They had only been in a relationship a few months. It was hardly enough time for them to build a solid foundation. Every relationship is tested in some way. When their relationship was tested, it crumbled.

What Anthony’s ex did was wrong. No one, including Anthony needs their reputation trashed. But in the end, it became a blessing. It helped bring to light the trust issues his girlfriend had and his obsessiveness in their relationship.

They both had their reasons for breaking up and agreed they needed to be just friends. But, once Anthony realized the relationship with his girlfriend was truly over, he began to obsess. He became emotionally overwhelmed with what he could not have, which was her.

What he needed to do was go back over the reasons they decided to break up to begin with. All the reasons are still there. He should let his obsessive feelings go, even though he doesn’t feel like it. The sooner he lets go, the quicker he will stop obsessing over his ex-girlfriend. And the sooner he’ll be able to walk away completely.

He Broke Up with Me and I Didn’t Take It Well

Jessica’s boyfriend broke up with her but she knew there was still something between them. He started dating a girl 10 days after breaking up with her. Then a bit later, Jessica and he started having sex even though he was with another girl. Jessica said she’s still wants him so she’s willing to put up with being used. The problem is that whatever he’s saying to Jessica, he’s staying to this other girl. Whatever he’s doing to Jessica, he’s doing to his girlfriend as well.

So, many people know their relationship is over but they try to prop it up anyway. Most of the time it doesn’t work and ends up in a lot of heartache. In Jessica’s case, she tried to prop up her relationship with her ex with sex.

Jessica is shifting the blame and saying it’s okay for her to have sex with her ex, because this other girl took her boyfriend away from her. What she’s saying is, I’m willing to disrespect myself to get what I need which is feeling loved by him again.

Instead, Jessica needs to stop having sex with her ex so she can walk away with self-respect. Sex will not meet her deepest needs or bring her boyfriend back. Her ex doesn’t have the capacity to meet her deepest needs. He became tired of her before, and he’ll get tired of her again. People ask too much of their exes. They ask them to meet needs only God can meet.

If you want to know more about having a meaningful relationship with God, check out my podcast episode number 9.  You can hear how Ronnie’s life was changed and how yours can too.

I Can’t Find Reasons To Move On

Keith feels stuck in a rut. He split up with his girlfriend 2 years ago. They were 6 months away from being married but things deteriorated and their relationship ended. Keith keeps thinking about what could have been if they hadn’t broken up. He said he can’t find reasons to move on.

If you are not over your ex after 2 years, something is wrong. What could keep him obsessing that long?

It’s because they became serious way too quickly. They were acting like they were married, but the relationship did not hold together. Once you start acting like you’re married, you’re in deep. It may be fun to act that way, but it causes a lot of pressure on the relationship. Slow down, the action will happen soon enough.

There is a common problem with people who can’t get over their ex: 

• They are not remembering their ex the way they really were.
• They are remembering a fantasy of their ex.
• They keep the fantasy going by saving all the mementos of their ex.

It’s difficult to throw away memories of the past but Keith will continue to have a difficult time with his emotions if he doesn’t.
Walking away isn’t easy when you thought you were in love but in reality, you weren’t. It’s the truth that sets us free. It’s time for Keith to believe the truth his relationship is over so he can get on with the rest of his life. There is so much more to live for.

Did Today’s Episode Get You Thinking?

Just about everybody will walk away from an ex at one time or another. So many people living in the past, obsessing over something that wasn’t even a reality. Ask yourself, am I living in the truth or am I in a fantasy? That’s a difficult question to answer but if you can answer yourself truthfully then you can get on with the rest of your life.

Resources for Getting Over Your Ex:

• Take a look at my eBooks: Getting Over a Broken Heart and Understanding Dating
• Check out my blogs: 7 Sure-Fire Ways to Get Over Your Ex, Ever Heard of Love Addiction?, It’s OK to be Single, and When An Ex Won’t Leave You Alone
• Check out other’s stories about relationships: Bad Break Up and Unhealthy Relationships, Relationship From TheHopeLine, and My Relationship, Depression and Then Hope
• Need prayer? I believe God wants to change your life and mine, through prayer. If you need prayer and would like to have someone pray for you, go to the TheHopeLine Prayer and check it out.
• Need to talk about your issues? Sign up for an Email Mentor, an online coach who will email you and come along beside you to offer support.

Would you consider doing something for me?

If you like this episode and think someone else might too, please share it on Facebook and Twitter.

One last thing,

My podcast, our website, everything we do is entirely listener supported. If you’d like to help us to continue our work, please make a gift right now at our Give Now page.

Remember, whatever you do, Never Lose Hope!

We often hear a common concern…

"I’m afraid to see a professional counselor."

Have you had this thought as well? Do you feel you may benefit from seeing a counselor, but face fears about scheduling an appointment?

Perhaps you have convinced yourself of many reasons why you shouldn’t go to counseling. A lot of these reasons may be seemingly understandable. However, more than likely, they are common misconceptions rooted in fear.

Today I want to address some of those myths because I see such value in talking to a counselor on an ongoing basis.

I can talk to someone for 4 minutes on my radio show and our HopeCoaches can chat a bit longer on TheHopeLine. This gives us enough time to point someone in the right direction, to love on them and to give them hope. But many times, that guidance includes encouraging someone to seek ongoing counseling, especially for those deeper issues.

Listen to my live call with Elizabeth whose parents sent her to therapy after she attempted suicide. She lied to get out of it. Now, she's struggling with suicidal thoughts again and wants to know what to do. Elizabeth needs to go back to therapy with an open mind and an open heart to find the help she needs

If you have considered seeing a professional counselor, but have talked yourself out of it because of unwarranted fears, I hope this information will help you become more comfortable in seeking the help that you need.

One of our partner organizations is Centerstone. They are one of the nation’s largest not-for-profit providers of community-based behavioral health care. Below they share a list of common misconceptions about treatment that we are in turn sharing with you:

Common Misconceptions About Treatment:

1. If I need help, something must be wrong with me. I must be broken or abnormal.

Just like with physical illness, mental illness and addiction are medical problems. You wouldn’t say that someone who has cancer or the flu is broken. They need treatment just like someone with a mental illness or addiction.

2. No one will understand my problem. I don’t deserve help. 

One in four American adults will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. That’s 25% of the population. There are many people who know what you are going through. You deserve to feel healthy and whole.

3. If I come in for an appointment, they will take me away.

Involuntary commitment is extremely rare, particularly at first appointments. Just like a physician’s office, there are occasionally people who need to be taken to the ER. But most folks just go in for their regular treatment.

4. They’ll put me on pills that will put me in a fog, and I’ll never be able to stop taking them.

As with physical illnesses, some mental health disorders will require short- or long-term medication regimens. It can be an important part of treatment, but it should never make you feel like you’re not yourself or in control. You have a say in these treatments.

5. If I just try harder, I won’t need treatment.

Mental health and substance abuse treatment is for people who have an illness that deserves treatment, just as much as any other illness. It can’t be cured by trying harder or ignoring the problem.

6. People will think less of me if I go to a therapist. 

Thankfully, we are at a point in time where a lot of people are speaking out about their mental illness and a lot is being done to combat the stigma surrounding it. And while you may be encouraged to talk to your loved ones and community members about your illness, a counselor respects their clients’ privacy. They will never reveal you receive treatment without your express permission. In fact, they can’t; it’s the law!

7. Therapy is just a lot of talking; I can get the help I need from my friends.

While a strong support system of friends and family is very important, there are things that we can help you with that your loved ones might not be able to. Our clinicians have extensive training and experience so they know all the tricky ways that your mental illness can trip you up and how to overcome your hurdles.

8. If I get treatment, I’ll have to keep going forever.

A counselor’s goal is always to get you back into your community as quickly as possible. While some patients may need long-term treatment, many individuals just need a few weeks or months to deal with their problem.

9. I can’t afford it.

Most insurance providers will cover some form of mental health treatment; it may be less expensive than you think. For those without insurance or those whose insurance doesn’t cover mental health treatment, you should inquire about programs set up to help provide funds to those who need assistance.

Live Your Best Life

If you are struggling with a serious issue such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, self-harm and many more, please love yourself enough to consider the option of counseling. Don’t dismiss the idea because of one of these misconceptions listed above. You do deserve to live your best life and you can achieve it.  Sometimes we all just need a little help.