Young people aged 15 to 24 years acquire half of all new STDs and 1 in 4 sexually active adolescent females have an STD.

Sexually active adolescents aged 15 to 19 years and young adults aged 20 to 24 years are at higher risk of acquiring STD's (according to Center for Disease Control)

The statistics are just that - statistics. They don't really tell the story of how awful an STD can be. I received a call on my radio show, Dawson McAllister Live.

He told me his story - he and his friend went to Vegas one weekend to party. One night at a party, he got really drunk and had unprotected sex with a stranger.

When he got home, he realized he had contracted genital herpes. Once you get herpes, you have it for life. IT is not curable. He said to me, "I always thought what happened in Vegas stayed in Vegas." I said to him, "Not an STD. They will follow you everywhere."

I received a really wise comment from a caller. Megan told me, "I think a lot of people walk around and they might have an STD, but they don't know because they haven't been tested. That's the danger of it because It's not an open thing for everybody. In a way I'm scared to have sex because I'm scared of getting an STD. I have been warned from my parents about it and I've read books about it. It's always possible, even if you are being careful, to get pregnant or get an STD. The best thing is to not have sex, but we all know many teenagers are having sex. So, the best thing is to have protection and try to find out about your partner's sexual history as much as possible. Be in the know-it will benefit you in the long run." Megan is wisely cautious, and she realizes nothing outside of abstinence is a sure-fire way to be protected from STDs.

And STD's do not discriminate. EVERYONE can get them. Here is a true story:

"I was diagnosed with genital herpes about a year ago. I am only 20 now. I never would have in my life thought this could happen to me. It has changed my entire life forever. I no longer can date as I used to, or even at the most best relationships, be as intimate as I used to could be."

This is a VERY common disease and most people do not know the facts about it. 1 out of 5 people are said to have genital herpes. And 70% of people who contract this disease, get it from a partner who has absolutely NO SIGNS of it...and as with any std, it only takes one time to catch one.

There are so many people who are ignorant of STDs. Their ignorance puts them in true danger. That is why I want to talk to you about STDs, so you can be protected from something that could ruin your life.

The best way to think about STDs is to view them as one of your worst enemy. STDs don't care whether you are rich, poor, black, white, educated, uneducated, male, or female. It just wants to spread its cruel wings on as many people as possible. One reason STDs seem to be winning the war on teenagers and young adults (with more victims everyday) is sheer ignorance. Few people really know who this enemy is and what to do about it. The ONLY way to avoid STDs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. So let's get real and talk about STDs. Here is a partial list of some of the STDs that could attack you:

• Bacterial Vaginosis is an infection caused when too much of a certain bacteria changes the normal balance of bacteria in the vagina. Pregnant women with BV are more likely to have babies who are born premature (early) or with low birth weight than women who do not have BV while pregnant.
• Chancroid is a painful genital ulcer and in advanced cases, scarring can result.
• Chlamydia can infect both men and women. It can cause serious, permanent damage to a woman's reproductive system, making it difficult or impossible for her to get pregnant later on. Chlamydia can also cause a potentially fatal ectopic pregnancy.
• Crabs are parasites or bugs that live on the pubic hair and cause itching.
• Gonorrhea can infect both men and women. It can cause infections in the genitals, rectum, and throat. It is a very common infection, especially among young people ages 15-24 years. A pregnant woman with gonorrhea can give the infection to her baby during childbirth.
• Hepatitis is an incurable disease that affects the liver. Viral hepatitis is the leading cause of liver cancer.
• Herpes is a recurrent incurable skin condition. Sores usually appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals, rectum or mouth. The blisters break and leave painful sores that may take weeks to heal. These symptoms are sometimes called having an outbreak.The first time someone has an outbreak they may also have flu-like symptoms such as fever, body aches, or swollen glands. When the sores come into contact with the mouth, vagina, or rectum during sex, they increase the risk of giving or getting HIV if you or your partner has HIV.
• Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) is an incurable virus which causes the immune system to fail.
• Human Papillomavirus/Genital Warts is an incurable virus that affects the skin in the genital area, as well as a female's cervix. HPV can cause cervical and other cancers.
• Molluscum Contagiosum is a skin disease usually causing lesions or bumps.
• Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) is an infection of a woman's reproductive organs. It can cause formation of scar tissue both outside and inside the fallopian tubes, infertility (inability to get pregnant) and long-term pelvic/abdominal pain.
• Scabies is an infestation of the skin by a microscopic mite.
• Syphilis is a bacterial infection that can spread throughout the body and affect the heart, brain, and nerves.

It's easy to think it won't happen to you. But just one true life story makes these STDs jump off the page and right into our lives. Like this one, I was diagnosed with HPV also known as genital warts. I have to go in every two or three weeks and have them burned off at the doctor. It's painful and believe me if I could do it over again and wait, I would wait until I'm married to have sex.

People need to realize that you don't know your partner's sexual past, it just takes one time to catch it. And even using protection still doesn't guarantee you from being protected from std's. Once you get an std the virus stays with you for the rest of your life.(Andrew)

There's an old saying that says, Ignorance is bliss. When it comes to STDs, ignorance is your enemy. and there is only one enemy bigger than that and that is the actual sexually transmitted disease. We need to say to ourselves over and over again, STDs are my enemy, and they can be deadly. What must I do to protect myself? Remember, the ONLY way to avoid STDs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex.

There is no shield to protect you simply because you are young. In fact, sexually active adolescents aged 15 to 19 years and young adults aged 20 to 24 years are at higher risk of acquiring STDs for a combination of behavioral, biological, and cultural reasons. Being young is a wonderful experience. It gives you strength, energy, and a sense of invincibility. It will not however protect you from STDs.

Another caller told me, the first time I ever had sex, I ended up getting an STD. I was aware halfway through our relationship that my ex (and first sex partner) had herpes but took on the famous It could never happen to ME' attitude. A year and a half later, I was diagnosed with genital herpes. It's no fun. I have to tell any future partner about it before things get serious and have to live with the bad choices I made in the past. IT WILL ALWAYS HAUNT ME. Don't think you will never get it...play it safe, in the end you'll be happier because you educated yourself and took the precautions you needed to take to ensure your safety from STDs. (Jen)

STDs are an enemy lurking at your door, silent, cunning, and very patient. This enemy is waiting for you to make a wrong move so it can attack. And when it does, it claims its victims for life.

Paul wrote: I was at a party once that was going great. Everyone was having a great time. Sure, there was some drinking, but I didn't realize the neighbors had called the cops. Everybody ran, and people got trampled over trying to get away. I broke my arm falling over the couch. And my dad had to come get me from the police station. It was a nightmare.

Does this sound like the WORST PARTY EVER?

It's that time of year party-time!

While I know there are plenty of reasons to hold parties all throughout the year, spring seems to bring with it even more reasons to get together.

The stay-out-all-night after-prom party. The we-finally-did-it graduation party. The weather-is-finally-nice beach/backyard/backroad party. The see-you-next-school-year college bash. You know what I'm talking about.

And, while these parties are meant to be celebrations, they can often get out of control and end disastrously. In fact, you could end up at the worst party ever.

I don't want to be a downer, but I've heard too many stories on my radio show over the years from people who were taken advantage of at a party, or teens who lost a friend because of drunk-driving, or someone who ended up arrested because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

So, let's just talk about how to be smart at a party. How to have fun, and not be dumb!

Let's set the scene. You get to the party with your friend, and everyone seems to be having fun. But after a while, you start to get the feeling that something isn't quite right. For one thing, you notice people are bringing more and more alcohol to the party. You also notice people are starting to get really drunk or high. You even see people slipping away in couples, or even threesomes, heading to a back bedroom.

You know nothing really good happens in the back bedroom. A thought flashes through your mind: drugs, alcohol, and a lot of people = trouble.

What are some signs of a party that you need to leave?

• If there are a lot of people showing up, you don't know especially if they are bringing alcohol when they come
• Rival gang members are there, or fights are breaking out.
• Couples are sneaking off upstairs or downstairs.
• People are so wasted they are passing out.
• The party is not well lit.
• You can't help but notice weird smells.
• It's so loud you know the neighbors are going to call the cops.
• If you can imagine people being surprised if they were to hear you were at this party.
• Your instincts are telling you to leave. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS.

It's important to always have a plan as to what you'll do if the party turns into a bad situation.

Here are some ways to protect yourself from getting trapped at a destructive party or at the "Worst Party Ever":

• Check out who's going to the party a little research beforehand may save you a lot of grief later. Again, follow your instincts. If there's a concern, just don't go. Why take a chance?
• Don't go to a party alone it's usually best to go with two or three others just in case one person might want to stay.
• Know your boundaries what you will and won't do before you get to a party and stick within those limits. You are cool enough to withstand peer pressure.
• Talk with a friend or your parents ahead of time and ask if you can call and have them pick you up if you need to get away.
• NEVER drive with someone who has been drinking.
• Make sure your phone is charged if you need to call someone or a cab.
• Go to TheHopeLine Get Help page to download our mobile app, so that you can talk with a HopeCoach anytime, anywhere, 24/7.
• Don't be afraid or ashamed to call your parents or a trusted adult someone who cares about your safety. They'll forgive any mistakes you have made.
• Don't be afraid to leave the party immediately walking or running, if need be.
• Be aware of your location, which streets are nearby, and what's a landmark you could head to if you needed to get away.
• Don't worry about what other people think about you if they see you leaving. Some people's lives have been all but ruined at a bad party.

I get the whole YOLO thing. And I know that according to Snoop Dog this is the time to be young and wild and free! I just want you to also be smart and safe and strong because I've seen first-hand that doing something in the moment can have consequences that last a lifetime.

And if you see a friend in trouble at a party, check out our guest blog about 4 Ways to Keep Friends Safe.
Lastly, here are some things your peers told us about their party experiences:

Jenni wrote: I just don't go to the parties where I know there will be drugs. And when there are, I get one of my friends to leave with me, and we do something else.

Trisha agreed with Jenni: I completely avoid the situation. But if I was there, I know better than to do that stuff. Usually, I end up leaving.

Sounds like Jenni and Trisha have a good plan. Talk to your friends and create your own plan for surviving the Worst Party Ever.

What could be more exciting than the prom?

It's the big event of the year. Prom Night is a chance for you and your friends to make special plans and go all out, spending a ton of money in hopes of having an awesome time. But lurking just below the surface are some serious dangers.

Most of these dangers take place after midnight. You're tired, and your guard is down, and temptation is at an all-time high. It's easier at these vulnerable times to do things you'll regret later.

Unrealistic Expectations

Some think they own their date for prom night because they've spent a ton of money on clothes, food, limo, etc. Along with this can come a certain expectation of receiving a certain amount of physical attention because of it. You don't have to be this kind of girl or guy.

Talk about your expectations for the night with your date so that you are both on the same page.

Also, some girls have expectations that the prom will be the most romantic, fairytale night ever which easily makes her more open to compromising her values. It also sets her up for greater disappointment when the night ends up being far from the dream she imagined. This can lead to a broken heart and scars that could last a lifetime. It also can set up the guy to be a failure in her eyes.

No guy can ever be the Prince Charming that she has fabricated in her mind.

Alcohol and Drugs

Prom nights throughout history are filled with stories of people who drank too much, got in a car, and never made it home. Others have died because they didn't realize how much they were drinking and ended up with alcohol poisoning. Your best bet is to avoid it all together on prom night.

Also, you cannot take drugs or drink alcohol and drive, or even ride in a car driven by someone who has. It's illegal and extremely dangerous.

Kayley wrote, "My best friend died in a car crash on prom night. She hadn't been drinking, but the person driving had. They just went off the road."

Also, when you drink, you are setting yourself up to make a complete fool of yourself.

Sex

Chances are you are going to be around people who are drinking, and probably too much. These are the kind of people who are going to be more aggressive about doing things sexually that they normally wouldn't do. Dawn said: Most of my friends lost their virginity at the prom....one of them ended up with an STD. Be smart, ladies, make sure you understand the consequences. That same person ended up pregnant and gave the STD to her baby during birth. (Read my blog about STDs)

What Can Make Prom Night a Good Experience?

1. Talk beforehand about what's going to happen

Talking about expectations for the night with your date, so you are both on the same page, will make a good and memorable night. After you talk about this, it will be easier to not let anyone pressure you into going someplace, or doing anything you don't want to do. Another way to keep your date's expectations in check is to offer to pay for your part of the event half of the ticket price, your portion of the limo, after-party expenses, etc.

2. Make the prom a FRIEND event

Some people find the prom to be more fun if they go with a group of friends, rather than making it a serious, overly romantic event filled with expectations. After the dance is over, don't just go and hang around at someone's house. This setting is ripe for drinking, drugs, and sex. Think up some group activities you will all enjoy.

David wrote: For my prom, I went with a whole group of people from my youth group, guys and girls. We wanted to have a good time, but without all the pressures of wondering if we're gonna hook up with someone or not. It was just good, pure fun. And when no one is drinking, it makes it so much easier, too.

3. Stay sober

Staying sober will help you to remember the fun you had that night. What could be worse than getting so drunk you can't even remember what you did or didn't do. Your date will be grateful you're not spending half the night barfing. What could be worse than getting so drunk you can't even remember what you did or didn't do?

4. Make a pact

Your parents or another adult can be helpful for you as someone you can call to come pick you up if things get dangerous or uncomfortable. Then you're guaranteed to never be trapped somewhere you don't want to be. They are available to come pick you up with the promise they won't make a scene in front of your friends.

Paul wrote: I used to think that my parents didn't trust me and that's why they wanted me to keep checking in with them. Then I realized they actually could help me if I needed it.

Make every effort to keep the night safe, and free from dangers lurking just under the surface.

Prom should be one of the most memorable nights of your high school career. Your goal should be, I'm going to the prom to have a good time, but not be haunted with many regrets. Make every effort to keep the night safe, and free from dangers lurking just under the surface.

Here are some additional tips for how to party safely.

Let me be really clear from the beginning of this post if you have been sexually assaulted, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  PERIOD.  No matter what you did or did not do the choice was 100% the decision of the perpetrator.  They could have chosen to not violate you, but they did not make that choice, so it is THEIR fault and only theirs.

Now with that said, I want to offer you some tips that can perhaps help protect you from being a victim of sexual assault, but I want you to understand that even if you follow all these steps or if you slip up on one of them, and you experience a sexual assault, it still is not your fault.  These tips are simply meant to help make you more aware and lessen your chances.

15 Tips for Protecting Yourself from Sexual Assault

1. Trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you that you should not be alone with someone, leave. If you feel the party, you are at is getting a little too out of control, get out.  If you are starting to get creeped out by how someone is looking at you or what they are saying to you, call a cab or find a friend.

2. Be prepared. Before you go out make sure your phone is fully charged, carry some cash, and have the number of a cab company programmed into your phone.

3. Don't share too much online about what your plans are. 61% of attackers are known by the victim.

Listen to this live call from Missy who was almost raped by her dad's friend.

If you have been sexually assaulted, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.  PERIOD.  No matter what you did or didn't do the choice was 100% the decision of the perpetrator.  They could have chosen to not violate you, but they did not make that choice, so it is THEIR fault and only theirs.

At a Party

4. Stick together with your friends or let them know where you are going. It does not hurt to have code words to alert a friend if you are getting uncomfortable.

5. Be aware of your alcohol consumption. My first recommendation is don't drink especially if you are underage.  But if you are going to have a drink, know your limits.  There is no disputing the fact that alcohol compromises your ability to make responsible decisions and be accurately aware of your situation.  Over half of sexual assaults among college students involve alcohol.

6. If you do have a drink, don't let it out of your site. You never know when someone might slip something into your drink. If you leave it unattended, get a new drink.  Never accept a drink from someone you don't know.

7. Be ready to speak up to help someone out. If a situation seems wrong, step up.  Find others to support you and then offer some distraction to rescue a friend or peer from a questionable situation.

When Walking Alone

8. Keep your eyes scanning - Stay alert and pay attention to your surroundings.

9. Keep your ears listening - Don't have earphones in

10. Keep your feet moving - Walk with a purpose

11. Choose a smart route - Try to stick to well-traveled areas even if it is not the most direct path

On a Date

12. Tell a friend where you are going

13. Don't compromise your standards - Set your boundaries and be firm. I don't want to is a good enough reason.

14. Understand that consent to sexual activity can be withdrawn at any time.

15. If your date is making you uncomfortable - call a friend and use a code word, or, if you can, make an excuse and leave.

Since 1993, sexual assaults have declined by 60%.  So, it is possible that by raising awareness and taking precautions, we can keep lowering the number of incidents.

If you are a survivor of a sexual assault, please take care of yourself and know that there is help for you.

Here are some resources for you:

Sexual Abuse and Assault Resources - The following are trusted resources from TheHopeLine and our partners to help survivors of sexual assault and their loved ones.

RAINN - Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization.

April is National Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month (#SAAPM).

That's why this month, RAINN, a partner of TheHopeLine, is highlighting the important role that friends play in keeping each other safe. It's about stepping up and showing you "C.A.R.E." You have the ability to make a difference by intervening in a way that fits the situation and your comfort level.

If you find yourself in a situation where someone looks uncomfortable or something doesn't seem right, consider one of the following ways to step in:

• Create a distraction. Do what you can to interrupt the situation. A distraction can give the person at risk a chance to get to a safe place.
• Ask directly. If you see someone who looks uncomfortable or is at risk, intervene and talk to the person who might be in trouble. If you feel safe, find a way to de-escalate the situation and separate all parties involved.
• Refer to an authority. Keeping your friends safe doesn't have to fall entirely on you alone. Sometimes the safest way to intervene is to refer to a neutral party with the authority to change the situation, like a college resident advisor or security guard.
• Enlist others. It can be intimidating to approach a situation alone. Enlist another person to support you. There is safety in numbers.

If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it's not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org.

You can also chat with a HopeCoach at TheHopeLine or download TheHopeLine's eBook called: Understanding Sexual Abuse.

I am always encouraged by the number of people who reach out to me asking how they can help their friends. I often direct them to my blog because they can find advice to pass along on many different subjects.

HOW TO GIVE GOOD ADVICE

However, I realize that even people with the best intentions don't always know how to offer advice in a way that is effective...in a way that others will actually listen and accept. Have you ever tried to give someone advice, but they tuned you out or got really mad at you?  I have written this blog to provide some important tips for how to give good advice that is effective.  This is a crucial place to start because unless someone is going to actually listen to what you have to say, your advice will not be effective.

4 Steps to Giving EFFECTIVE Advice

LISTEN. This is SO important.  Unless a person feels heard and understood, they will never trust the advice you are giving.  You must take time to gain an understanding of where they are coming from.  Ask them questions to show you really desire to understand. Then state back to them what you've heard them say by summarizing, "So what I hear you saying is...Is that right?"  This way you are both sure you are on the same page, and they know you understand them.

ENCOURAGE. This is another important step that cannot be hurried over.  Before diving into any advice, encourage them in some way. Tell them that you believe in them or encourage them that there is help available.  Unless you start with encouragement, they may be stuck in such a negative place that they have no hope of things ever-changing.  And then, when you offer them advice, they might not believe they are capable of acting on any of it.  However, offering encouragement opens the door to HOPE and prepares them to be ready to hear what you have to say. So, find SOMETHING to encourage them with.  You can focus on a past success or the potential they have.  Or here are some other examples..."It was an important first step to admit what your struggle was." "You sound like you are really ready to make some good choices." "You are not alone." "There are people who can help you and I'm here for you too."

ADVISE. The best way to give advice is by getting their involvement in deciding what they should do and influencing their thinking in a positive way. Involvement - In order to have people buy into any advice you are giving; they need to be involved in the discussion and the decision.  If you can get them to arrive at the decision of what to do next on their own...so that it is their idea, they will be much more committed to the decision and more likely to follow through. In all my years of talking with people, I have found that much of the time they know the right thing to do, they just need someone to confirm it for them. Here are some ways to involve them:

• Ask them what they've already done to try to better their situation and why it may or may not have helped.
• Ask them what else they think might be helpful.
• Offer a suggestion of your own and ask them what they think about that idea.

Influencing - As they come up with ideas you can influence them toward or away from what they are thinking based on whether or not it is a good decision through asking more questions. Questions like this are often helpful in influencing their decision:

• What do you think would happen if you did this?
• How do you think you would feel afterwards?
• Why do you think that is a good idea?

PRAY for them and with them. I believe that with God's power anything is possible.  Any situation can be solved, any addiction broken, any heart mended, any wrong made right.  Maybe not immediately and maybe not how we thought, but God tells us to bring our requests to Him.  So, PRAY and let them hear you pray!  Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

5 Things to AVOID When Giving Advice

• Being Judgmental - Nobody will ever confide in you if they feel that you are going to judge them. You don't know what they have experienced. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
• Preaching - Do not just talk at someone. Involve them in the discussion through lots of questions and listening.
• Offering a solution too quickly - It is important to really listen and gain a full understanding of all that they are struggling with, what their perspective is, and what they've already done to try to fix the situation.  By saying, "Just do this and it will all be better," you minimize a problem they may have been struggling with for a long time.
• Gossiping - If they are afraid, you won't keep their confidence, they will not tell you anything.
• Thinking you are going to fix them or their situation - It is not up to you to fix anything. You just need to be a safe place where they can talk, receive support, and hear a new perspective on their situation.

It is also important to be able to recognize common thinking errors and know how to challenge them as the advice-giver.

5 COMMON THINKING ERRORS

• Over Generalization - Example: NOBODY likes me.
  Challenge: Look for exceptions to the rule. "Well, John likes you
• Jumping to Conclusions - Example: He crossed the road to avoid me.
  Challenge: Reality checking - "How do you know he crossed the road to avoid you? What other explanations could there be?"
• Catastrophizing - Example: The meal was a complete disaster. They will NEVER talk to me again.
  Challenge - "How likely is it that your all your friends will turn against you if your cooking is not perfect?"
• All or Nothing - Example: The things I do are successful or a failure; perfect or disastrous; right or wrong.
  Challenge - Put a third option in between the two extremes - Successful, Good but needs a few improvements, failure.
• Turning a Positive into a Negative  - Example: She would not be so kind to me if she knew what I was really like.
  Challenge - Point out the positive then challenge the evidence used to make it a negative - "Maybe she does not know you completely, but she really likes what you did."

I hope these tips will help as you reach out to make a difference in the lives of those around you!

Are you wondering how to be a great friend? Here are 9 tips to become a great friend.

I have written many blogs on the subject of cutting.  We've discussed what it is, why people do it, the consequences, and some possible solutions to the problem.  But, today, I want to talk specifically to the friends of cutters.

Help, my friend is cutting.

This can be a hard subject to talk about and it can be a very sensitive subject to the cutter, so it is important to keep the following things in mind when trying to help.

Someone recently wrote to me and asked: My friend is cutting. How can I get it into my best friend's head that cutting is not good at all?

She's right cutting is not good at all, and I appreciate her desire to help her friend.  However, there isn't a simple answer to this question.  We can't just throw out facts and figures and think a cutter is going to be instantly convinced to stop.  As I wrote about in Why People Cut, cutters are usually covering up a deeper emotional pain.

Therefore, when talking to a friend about cutting here are some very important things to remember.

• Do NOT come across as judgmental.  You may not be aware of the personal struggle they are facing which has led to self-harm.
• REALLY listen and seek to understand. Often someone who cuts feels like no one understands them. Do NOT be one more person that says why would you do this to yourself? It doesn't make any sense. Rather, ask some probing questions with a genuine desire to understand.  Such as: Why do you think you cut yourself?  Do you cut to cover up other pain? How do you feel after you cut? How do you feel the next day? Help them to tell their story...if they're ready. You don't need to have all the answers. Just listen!
• Encourage your friend that you BELIEVE in them.  Tell them you know they will have the strength to stop when they decide to and that you will support them however you can. Offer to be their accountability partner, if they want.  You can be the person they call to distract themselves from cutting when the temptation arises.
• Refer them to other resources on the subject of self-harm and read more about it yourself. We have created a link with many helpful resources available all in one convenient place. You could simply text or email your friend this link and say..."When you are ready..." or share it through social media. You never know when sharing information could impact a life. TheHopeLine Resource Page
• Most importantly PRAY for them. God is bigger than cutting!!  He can help them overcome the addiction. Pray that God gives them the strength and desire they need to stop cutting and find HOPE.

If you want to know more about breaking free from self-harm. Read this blog that our friend, Amanda Turner, wrote about her personal story. 

Thanks for caring. You CAN make a difference in someone's life.

You Know They Are Cheating On You, but What Are You Going to Do?

If you have ever uncovered the painful truth that the person you feel you love is cheating on you, you probably asked yourself: What am I supposed to do now? What should my response be to this betrayal? There is no doubt a wide range of confusing emotions flooding through you. All these feelings make it very difficult to make any kind of wise decision on what to do next. So don't react too quickly.

Let's begin with looking at what cheating is and is NOT.

What Is Cheating?

It's important to understand that there are different kinds of behavior people call cheating, some of which is not cheating at all. For example, if someone asks you out just once, and then soon after asks someone else out, that's not cheating. That's simply dating. Believe me, there's nothing wrong with dating around.

On the other hand, if you have been dating that person for a while and you both commit to dating exclusively, and that person dates someone else behind your back, that's cheating. Obviously, if someone says, "Will you be my fiancé?" and you accept, and then they date behind your back, that's cheating. If the person you are dating for some time has sex, or inappropriate sexual behavior with another person, that's cheating.

Four Steps to Protect Yourself:

1.  The first thing you need to do is wait.  Don't do anything. Let your feelings calm down. Regardless of what you have discovered, there's no need to go around trashing the person who's cheated on you, or even the one he/she did it with. Stay above the betrayal. Don't let the lies and deceit of your bf/gf drag you down into the gutter with them. Keep your deep sense of personal dignity and healthy self-worth. You only make matters worse by acting out of anger and confusion. Don't tell the world you've been violated.

2.  Surround yourself with good friends and wise counselors who can help you sort through your emotions and discover what has actually taken place. Get your friends and others you trust to quietly uncover what has been happening behind your back. Usually your friends are the first to know. These people are priceless to you because you can talk through your emotions with them. Left to yourself, you will only get caught in a circle of confusion, hurt, and resentment.

3.  Confront your bf/gf in private.  Confrontation is never easy, but you will never get to the bottom of what has happened or begin healing until you have talked with your cheating bf/gf. Sometimes you feel like causing a big scene to bring shame to the other person, and you end up just looking like a fool.

4.  Remember your worth. Do not let yourself fall prey to all the lies that you may be tempted to believe such as, "There must be something wrong with me." "I'm not worthy of real love." "I'll never find a good partner."  This is desperate thinking in the moment. While being cheated on hurts to the core...it does not define who YOU are. See yourself as God sees you. He sees you as....Chosen, Accepted, Loved, Beautiful and Significant. Write these messages down and surround yourself with them. Believe the truth.

Tips for Confronting the Cheater

1. It's very important to have a confrontation face-to-face if possible. Body language (facial expressions, etc.) will tell you a lot.

2. Make sure you have the facts before the confrontation. If you try to confront without evidence, you will most likely be lied to or stir up deep resentment in the person you are accusing. The person being confronted often blames you for the very thing he/she has done. This is the kind of experience Kristy had, "I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years. It was a break-up/make-up relationship. He would do something wrong, like cheat, and somehow blame it on me; make me feel like it was my fault that he cheated, that somehow, I drove him to it. Then he'd break up with me, and a few days later, we'd get back together."

3. While confronting, deal with the source of the problem, your bf/gf, and don't focus on the person they've cheated with. Sometimes you feel like bringing shame to the other person, and you end up just looking like a fool.

4. Try to discover if your cheating bf/gf is truly repentant for what he/she has done. Some people are just sorry because they got caught. It will take time for you to know whether or not your bf/gf is truly sorry for their betrayal of you.

5. Some people when confronted become defensive, belligerent, and angry. That is a good sign they have no intention of ever getting back with you again. See their reaction for what it is. Sometimes it's just better to walk away and stay away.

Should You Save the Relationship?

Deciding whether or not you are going to try and salvage the relationship could be one of the most important decisions you will ever make.

Consider a time-out from your relationship.  A time-out will give you a chance to get wise counsel from other people and decide whether or not the relationship is worth saving.

Don't make the mistake of KT, "My ex-boyfriend was a jerk and treated me so badly. He'd call me names and he'd cheat on me and give me the guilt trip saying, I will never find anyone like him or even as good as him cause he is that unique. All my friends told me to leave him. They said a good guy will come along when he comes along, but I didn't listen to my friends, even though they have given me very good advice for two years now. I just didn't listen cause my ex-boyfriend sort of brainwashed me in a way. Now that I understand and accept it, I am doing so much better."

Know it will take time for the relationship to heal, if it ever does. Trust has been shattered and recovering trust takes a long time. If you decide the relationship is salvageable, your cheating bf/gf will have to be patient for you to trust them again. But eventually you will need to forgive them and learn to trust.

The Relationship Can't be Saved. Now What?

If you decide the relationship cannot be healed or mended, take some off from dating to find yourself and allow yourself to become stronger. Some relationships cannot be saved no matter what you do. So don't bring unnecessary drama and needless hurt into your life by not letting go.

Steven said something incredible when he commented, "Everybody has free will and [my girlfriend] had the will to cheat as she pleases, and I can't change that. But I also have free will. The free will to not give her power over me and to move on to lead a productive life. The people who loved me and the ones I loved were counting on me. I dropped my pride and cried out for help."

Know your own self-worth and cry out for the help you need. You are worth it!

If you've just been cheated on and need more help, Check out: He Cheated On You: 6 Things Not To Do.

Guard Your Heart TRUE BEAUTY EDITION

We live in a body-obsessed culture.  Men and women both feel pressured to have the perfect bodies, and we believe so many lies about what a perfect body is and what defines beauty.

As I continue to talk about guarding our hearts another way, we can protect ourselves is to know the TRUTH about beauty and not believe the lies and photo-shopped images that we are surrounded by daily.

Guarding your heart requires you to Fill your heart with TRUTH and cling to that truth when the world tells you lies.

Lie 1. My worth and my beauty is measured by a number on the scale, the size of my jeans, the size of my biceps. 

• Truth - I've said this before, but I need to repeat it - your worth is defined by one thing and one thing only...by  a God who loves you and who created you wonderfully!  If only we could grasp the greatness of God who created the entire universe and yet LOVES little old you and me so much that He knew us before we were born and designed us perfectly, THEN we might understand our worth beyond a number.  And not to sound cliche but beauty really is a matter of the heart. I believe it is absolutely true that the most attractive person in the room is the one with a smile on their face exuding kindness and confidence. Not the person in the latest fashions whose all done up, but spewing hate.
• Heart Protection By having a confidence that comes from knowing our value in God's eyes and expressing our confidence through kindness and joy, we will exude true beauty. Our confidence will no longer rely on an ever-changing number on the scale.

Lie 2. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or the guy on the cover of GQ magazine is the definition of attractive and what I need to strive for.

• Truth The images of beauty that we see on the cover of magazines are unrealistic and often unattainable. Want proof? Watch this:

• Heart Protection By realizing that the images you see daily in the media are highly touched up, you will protect yourself from trying to live up to a standard that is unrealistic. Stop being so hard on yourself when you look in the mirror.  See those pictures for the lies that they are.  Set healthy expectations for yourself and believe the true definition of beauty as defined above.

Lie 3. I need to dress provocatively in order to get a guy's attention.  Guys like girls who show some skin.

• Truth A good guy respects modesty. I have heard it said like this, Dressing immodestly is like rolling around in manure. Yes, you'll get attention, but mostly from pigs. I like that!
• Heart Protection If you believe that good guys respect modesty, you won't feel the pressure to dress inappropriately, and by holding yourself to a higher standard, you won't set yourself up to be treated like an object. YOU DESERVE MORE. If a guy is only paying attention to you when you dress a certain way, he is likely not a guy who is going to respect you later. The Bible offers a very practical analogy on this very subject when it says A beautiful woman who lacks modesty is like a fine gold ring in a pig's snout.  In other words, don't ruin your beauty by revealing too much. By holding yourself to a higher standard, you won't set yourself up to be treated like an object

Here is one of the best descriptions of beauty that I've read:  She is a woman of strength and dignity and has no fear of old age.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says.   Let's strive for that kind of beauty.

TheHopeLine’s eBook on self-worth gives practical advice about things you can do to increase your self-esteem.